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He won't be able to keep it a secret for long. She's bound to find out."

Find out what? Terri wondered, prickly heat run¬ning down her neck.

"She leaves soon, though, doesn't she?" Lissianna asked.

"And do you think he won't follow? Or that she won't come back?"

"You think it's that serious?" Bastien's sister asked with interest.

"Yes. And you do, too, or you wouldn't be asking if he'd told her," Kate said dryly. "It's hardly something you tell just any gal you're dating."

Told me what? Terri repeated in her head. Damn, she wished they'd get more specific. And hurry. Her muscles were starting to burn from holding her legs up. She didn't know how much longer she could keep them raised.

"Yes, it's serious," Kate went on with a sigh. "I know Terri. She loves him with all her heart. Being just as much in love with Lucern I recognize the signs," she added dryly. "The way they feel about each other, they won't be apart for any longer than necessary. If she even goes home, or he doesn't just follow her back to England. Either way, he has to tell her. It wouldn't be a good thing for her to find out on her own."

"No," Lissianna agreed. "It's better he tell her than she find out by accident."

Find out what? Terri wanted to scream with frustra¬tion. Not to mention pain--her legs were now ab¬solutely killing her.

"I don't know why he's delaying," Kate fretted. Lissianna gave a short laugh. "That's easy enough to answer. It's because he loves her just as much as she loves him. I've never seen him like this. The man is always smiling, or whistling, or--I wasn't yet around when Josephine was in his life, but Lucern says Bastien wasn't even this happy when he thought he loved her."

Terri almost sighed out loud at this news. His fam¬ily thought Bastien loved her. And she made him happier than Josephine--whoever that was. Her legs were suddenly forgotten. She could take a little pain. "Well, then, why is he risking things working out with Terri by keeping quiet?" Kate asked. She sounded frustrated.

"As I said, because he loves her," Lissianna re¬peated. "Haven't you heard about Josephine?"

"Yes, of course. But Terri is different. She'll be more understanding. Especially after what she went through with Ian. She--"

Whatever came next was lost to Terri, for music briefly swept into the room as the door was opened, then receded to silence again as it closed. Lissianna and Kate were gone.

Chapter Eighteen

Terri's thoughts were in an uproar. "Terri is different, she'll be more understanding, especially after what she went through with Ian." Kate's words brought a myriad of memories floating through her mind: sobbing into her pillow at night as she listened helplessly to lan's moans of pain, a pain that no amount of morphine would ease; the sickly sweet smell of death in the house that had seemed to cling to everything, includ¬ing Terri herself, for months afterward; lan's loss of dignity as he grew so weak he had to have every little thing done for him, down to the most personal and humiliating task.

It had been torturous for Terri. But she knew it had been a thousand times worse for him, and she'd had to carry that burden too. She'd known that Ian wished it would all just end. He'd begged her many times to finish it for him, once he was too weak to manage it himself. Terri had resented that. If he had wanted to end it, why had he waited until he couldn't do it himself? Why wait until the weight rested on her shoulders, and she had to carry the guilt of not being able to do it for him? For Terri had borne a mountain of guilt. She'd felt guilty that it was he and not she, that she was healthy while he suf¬fered; that she couldn't save him; and ultimately, that she couldn't even end his suffering when he asked it of her.

More understanding, Kate had said? Yes, Terri un¬derstood. She knew exactly what Bastien would go through with whatever terminal illness he had, be¬cause it seemed to her that this was what they had been speaking of. The medicine, the blood, the IV stand, and the secrets all suddenly made sense. As did the medication that caused photosensitivity, and the fact that Bastien merely picked at his food most of the time, seeming to have no appetite. It was all so obvi¬ous now: Strong, handsome Bastien had