Talking Dirty with the CEO - By Jackie Ashenden Page 0,65
huge bunch of flowers for her and he didn’t know where to put them. She couldn’t leave the desk fast enough.”
Slick, that was Jude.
She paused in the middle of the room, arms folded. “I want to talk to you.”
“I’m in the middle of a workout.”
“Actually, you’re in the middle of a meltdown.” Striding over to the treadmill, she punched the button and the machine began to wind down.
Joseph put his hands on the bars on either side of the machine and gave her an irritated look. “Don’t be ridiculous.”
“I’m not the one being ridiculous. Look at you. How many times have you been on that thing today?”
Five. Maybe six. Not that she needed to know that. “None of your business.” He reached for the towel on the floor nearby, mopping his face.
“It’s her, isn’t it?”
Joseph didn’t look at his sister. “No.”
“Ah.”
“What do you mean, ‘ah’?”
“Well, you didn’t immediately ask who I was talking about. Which means that it’s definitely her.”
Damn Jude. Damn her to hell.
Joseph swung the towel around his neck, stepping down off the machine. “I’m not talking about this now, okay?”
“Why not? Scared?”
“I’m not scared.”
“Yes, you are. You’re terrified.”
He turned away, suddenly viciously angry. The same kind of anger that had dogged him for weeks now. “Leave it.” He stalked over to his desk, picked up the water bottle sitting on the top, and took a long swallow. “I meant to say, got an e-mail from Caleb yesterday. His contract with that UK club is almost up and he’ll be coming home in a month.”
Judith scowled. “Wonderful,” she muttered. “Now my day is truly complete. But can we not talk about Mr. Shag-Anything-That-Moves?” She fixed him with a look so sharp the edges just about cut him to death. “I want to know about this woman who’s got you tied up in knots.”
“She hasn’t—”
“Crap. You’re so wound up all you need is a pair of ears and you could stand in for the Energizer Bunny. What the hell are you so afraid of?”
He let out a breath. Put down the water bottle. “She’s in love with me. That’s what she told me. And you know what’ll happen? One day I’ll miss an important date or I’ll zone out one too many times, or I’ll forget she even existed for a moment. Or even worse, one day I’ll wake up and I’ll find she doesn’t interest me anymore. And it’ll hurt. It’ll hurt her. She doesn’t deserve that kind of treatment.”
Jude stared at him. “And how do you feel about her?”
A slow clench of his heart. “I like her, but that’s it.”
“Rubbish.”
“It’s not rubbish.”
“Sure it is. You feel something for her. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t be pushing her away like this.”
He scowled at her. “I’m not pushing her away.”
“Aren’t you? It’s what you always do, you know. When anyone gets close. Caleb and Luke are just about the only people other than your family you haven’t managed to alienate, though God knows you certainly tried hard enough.”
“Jude—”
“No, don’t try to deny it. You push people away, then use the ADHD as an excuse not to have to deal with it.”
He found his hands closed into fists. “It’s not an excuse.”
“Yes, it is. What do you think’s going to happen? That once people find out who the real you is, they’re going to run away?”
“No, that’s got nothing—”
“Not everyone is like Mum.”
He stopped, looking at her in shock. “What’s Mum got to do with this?”
Jude’s blue eyes had that stubborn, uncompromising look they always got when she was going to tell him something she knew he didn’t want to hear. “I know you blame yourself for the way she left.”
“No, I don’t. That was a decision—”
“You do. Even at thirteen you knew how difficult your behavior was for her to manage. Dad was hardly around, so she had to cope on her own. And she couldn’t.”
“I’m not having this discussion.” Joseph turned, walking blindly toward the door of his office, not even sure where he was going. Only knowing he had to leave.
“Don’t push her away.” Jude’s voice was like an arrow in the back. “You say you don’t want to hurt her, but isn’t that what you’re doing now?”
He put his hand on the door handle. “No, I’m trying to prevent her from being hurt any more than she already has been.”
“Are you so sure? Remember how you felt when Mum left? Aren’t you doing to her exactly what Mum did to you?”
He stopped dead, his hand motionless