Tales of Darkness & Sin - Pepper Winters Page 0,163

speech that sent my pulse racing and my heart twisting and my stomach floating somewhere near my throat.

Knowing him has been one of the highlights of my life.

Will you castigate me for loving a man? Because the truth is, I do love him. Very much.

He loved me. He loved me, and he’d said it.

To other people. In public.

I’d stood there on the pavement outside King’s Cross station while the ITV crew got set up, and I’d watched over and over again the clip of him saying he loved me. And then of course, Mum had called me, and I’d had to explain to her that yes, yes, it was all true, but that James and I had sort of broken up last night so she didn’t need to soundproof my room at Ullswater Cottage in preparation for next Christmas just yet.

Because despite what he said today, I still wasn’t sure what happened next.

I had hopes, I had fantasies, I knew what I wanted more than my next breath—but after how we left things last night, I couldn’t be sure. James had announced the end of his career—

the career that had defined his life, the career he’d dedicated his entire being to—and I wasn’t sure how he felt about his choice. He’d said it was because he wanted to live freely and not because he was worried about what the nation would think, but still…

What if he already regretted it?

Regretted me?

I stepped where the producer indicated, and then the journalist interviewing me stood opposite. I was deeply grateful this was for a program specifically about historic areas under threat of urban development and that there wouldn’t be an opportunity for her to ask about the prime minister’s statement. I could sense she was itching to and I just wasn’t in the headspace for it. Not right now. Not when I didn’t know whether to be elated or proud or anxious or lonely or what.

“Tell us about the Battle Bridge site,” the journalist said, and that was my cue to speak. To be Tobias, the adorable and photogenic archaeologist.

“Many of us Londoners might not realize that we’re actually standing on top of a river, the River Fleet, which before becoming an underground sewer was an important waterway for Celts, Romans, and later the Saxons. Boudica herself was said to have fought a battle at this very site...”

I was rattling all this off when I heard the producer say, “Sir, sir, we’re filming right now, excuse me—Sir!”

And I turned and then I saw him. Framed by the silver light of late afternoon, his eyes a shade of blue usually reserved for painting the Virgin Mary.

I stopped talking. I couldn’t think of anything to say.

“Tobias,” James said, his voice rough and low. The same way he’d say it if he was inside me.

I shivered.

He strode forward, and God, that stride. It didn’t matter if his address wouldn’t be 10 Downing Street; he would always be a man of power, a man of cold, intelligent arrogance. He came up to me while I stood there like a prize idiot, and then he took my hand, ignoring the journalist and the cameraman and the still-sputtering producer as if they didn’t exist.

“I’m sorry, Tally,” he murmured. “I’m so sorry. I have no excuse, but I want to do better. You are worth doing better for, and I know now that I am too.”

“I saw your speech, you impetuous twat,” I said, my voice quavering. “What were you thinking? And announcing your resignation too?”

“I was thinking that I love you,” he said fiercely. “And I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

I stared up at him, at that stern mouth and those eyes, intense and glittering just for me. “But your work…”

“I’m not leaving it because I’m ashamed or afraid of the public,” he said. “I’m leaving it because I realized it’s no longer where my heart lies. It lies with you, my ridiculous boy, and nowhere else.”

“But—”

“Tobias,” he said. “Do you want me to kiss you or not?”

I reached up and ran my fingers over his mouth. The sculpted lines of it softened just for me. “There’s a camera,” I warned him. “And at least four people with smartphones recording us right now.”

“Good,” was his prompt, grave reply.

And then his mouth was on mine, demanding and firm. Imperious and just a little vulnerable.

Heaven.

I melted against him, and he wrapped me in his arms, all wool coat and pure, male strength, and I knew I