The Tale of Oat Cake Crag - By Susan Wittig Albert Page 0,38

top of the crag—the ghost of the Scottish soldier, it is said.”

“Most likely an owl,” remarked Thackeray, who didn’t believe in ghosts. However, he had not previously believed in dragons, either, so you may discount his remark if you wish.

“But if your great-great-grandfather saw the monszster from that point,” the dragon said, now very enthusiastic, “it standszs to reason that it would be a good place for me to szset up a lookout.”

“I’m not so sure about that,” Bailey said dubiously. “It’s a rather exposed crag. On a moonlit night, someone might look up and see you. You are large, you know. And you do glow.”

The dragon looked down at his belly. “I can try to turn it off.”

“No, you can’t,” said the guinea pig. “Turn off your fire and you won’t be a dragon anymore. You’ll just be a large green lizard with a long tail.” He grinned. “Get used to it, Thorvaald. You are what you are.”

The dragon heaved a huge sigh. “But I’ve got to find some way to redeem myself in the eyes of the Grand Aszsembley!” he moaned. “Otherwise, I’ll be doing the census forever. Or worse, I’ll be waiting tableszs in the dining hall.”

“You’ll find it,” comforted Bailey. “I’m just not sure you’ll find it in Lake Windermere, that’s all.”

As things turned out, the badger was wrong. But that’s another part of the story. We’ll get to it when the time comes. Now, we have a meeting to attend.

8

At the Tower Bank Arms

But before the meeting, we shall make a stop at Tower Bank House, the home of Captain and Mrs. Miles Woodcock.

I am afraid that there is certain amount of muddle about these two names—Tower Bank House and the Tower Bank Arms. It is the same sort of confusion that people often feel about the names of Near and Far Sawrey, for Far Sawrey is nearer Windermere and the ferry, when approached from the east, and Near Sawrey is farther away. Why is Far Sawrey not called Near? people often ask. And why is Near Sawrey not called Far?

This seemingly illogical bit can be very simply explained, but you have to come at it from the other direction: that is, from the west. (Illogical things often clear themselves up when you turn them upside down, or wrong side front, or inside out.) Then you will see that Near Sawrey is nearer the market town of Hawkshead, while Far Sawrey is farther away by a half mile or so. If you are still muddled, you might want to glance at the map at the front of this book, which may help to unmuddle you.

The confusion in names came about many years ago, when Tower Bank House was home to the village squire, who imagined himself somewhat grander than he was. It happened that the pub—known for many years as The Blue Pig—was put up for sale, and since the price was reasonable, the squire thought he would buy it. However, upon reflection, it seemed to him that owning a “Blue Pig” was a notch or so beneath him, and that he would rather own a “Tower Bank Arms,” which sounded a good deal more impressive. The villagers found this funny (they still called the pub The Blue Pig) but off-comers were terribly confused. Some who wanted a bed at the Tower Bank Arms found themselves ringing the squire’s door bell, whilst those who had business at Tower Bank House ended up with a half-pint at the pub.

The squire is dead and gone, but the names have lived on. Now, Tower Bank House is the home of Captain and Mrs. Miles Woodcock. Captain Woodcock—a fine-looking, capable gentleman, respected by all who know him—is retired from His Majesty’s Army and serves as the justice of the peace for Claife Parish. This position requires him to hear complaints, witness documents, certify deaths, deal with disturbances of the peace, and the like, so that the captain finds himself involved in a great many aspects of village life and feels entitled to hold a general opinion about all of it (even those parts that are none of his business).

The new Mrs. Woodcock (the former Margaret Nash) retired from her position as headmistress of Sawrey School upon the announcement of her engagement to the captain. They were married by the vicar at St. Peter’s in a ceremony that was attended by everyone in the parish, and afterward feted at a lovely garden reception at Raven Hall (Mrs. Kittredge of Raven