The tale of the body thief - By Anne Rice Page 0,218
the direction won’t come to me all at once. There has to be a period of traveling, of learning, of evaluation, before I make a decision as to direction. And as I engage in my studies, I write. I write everything down. Sometimes the record itself seems the goal.”
“I know.”
“There are many things I want to ask you. I’ve been plagued with questions.”
“Why? What sort of questions?”
“About what you experienced those few days, and whether you have the slightest regret that we ended the venture so soon.”
“What venture? You mean my life as a mortal man?”
“Yes.”
“No regret.”
He started to speak again, and then broke off. Then again he spoke. “What did you take back with you?” he asked in a low fervent voice.
I turned and looked at him again. Yes, the face was definitely more angular. Was it personality which had sharpened it and given it more definition. Perfect, I thought.
“I’m sorry, David, my mind wandered. Ask me this question again.”
“What did you take back with you?” he said, with his old familiar patience. “What lesson?”
“I don’t know that it was a lesson,” I said. “And it may take time for me to understand whatever I learnt.”
“Yes, I see, of course.”
“I can tell you that I’m aware of a new lust for adventure, for wandering, the very things you describe. I want to go back to the rain forests. I saw them so briefly when I went to visit Gretchen. There was a temple there. I want to see it again.”
“You never told me what happened.”
“Ah, yes, I told you but you were Raglan at the time. The Body Thief witnessed that little confession. Why on earth would he want to steal such a thing? But I’m drifting off the point. There are so many places that I, too, want to go.”
“Yes.”
“It’s a lust again for time and for the future, for the mysteries of the natural world. For being the watcher that I became that long-ago night in Paris, when I was forced into it. I lost my illusions. I lost my favorite lies. You might say I revisited that moment and was reborn to darkness of my own free will. And such a will!”
“Ah, yes, I understand.”
“Do you? That’s good if you do.”
“Why do you speak that way?” He lowered his voice and spoke slowly. “Do you need my understanding as much as I need yours?”
“You’ve never understood me,” I said. “Oh, it’s not an accusation. You live with illusions about me, which make it possible for you to visit with me, to speak with me, even to shelter me and help me. You couldn’t do that if you really knew what I was. I tried to tell you. When I spoke of my dreams … ”
“You’re wrong. That’s your vanity talking,” he said. “You love to imagine you’re worse than you are. What dreams? I don’t remember your ever speaking to me of dreams.”
I smiled. “You don’t? Think back, David. My dream of the tiger. I was afraid for you. And now the menace of the dream will be fulfilled.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’m going to do it to you, David. I’m going to bring you to me.”
“What?” His voice dropped to a whisper. “What are you saying to me?” He leant forward, trying to see clearly the expression on my face. But the light was behind us, and his mortal vision wasn’t sharp enough for that.
“I just told you. I’m going to do it to you, David.”
“Why, why are you saying this?”
“Because it’s true,” I said. I stood up and pushed the chair aside with my leg.
He stared up at me. Only now did his body register the danger. I saw the fine muscles of his arms tense. His eyes were fixed on mine.
“Why are you saying this? You couldn’t do this to me,” he said.
“Of course I could. And I shall. Now. All along I’ve told you I was evil. I’ve told you I’m the very devil. The devil in your Faust, the devil of your visions, the tiger in my dream!”
“No, that’s not true.” He climbed to his feet, knocking the chair over behind him, and almost losing his balance. He stepped back into the room. “You’re not the devil, and you know that you’re not. Don’t do this to me! I forbid it!” He clenched his teeth on the last words. “You are in your own heart as human as I am. And you will not do it.”