The tale of the body thief - By Anne Rice Page 0,138

my wrist. The rain had slackened beyond the broken shutters which covered both doors and windows, and I sat huddled in the red velvet chair, enjoying the little blaze from the brick fireplace, yet badly chilled again, and suffering the same old racking cough. But the moment was at hand, surely, when such a thing would no longer be of concern.

I had poured out the whole tale.

In a frenzy of mortal candor, I had described each and every dreadful and bewildering experience, from my conversations with Raglan James to the very last sad farewell to Gretchen. I had told even of my dreams, of Claudia and me in the long-ago little hospital, of our conversation in the fantasy parlour of the eighteenth-century hotel suite, and of the sad terrible loneliness I’d felt in loving Gretchen, for I knew that she believed at heart that I was mad, and only for that reason had she loved me. She had seen me as some sort of beatific idiot, and no more.

It was finished and done. I had no idea where to find the Body Thief. But I must find him. And this search could only begin when I was once again a vampire, when this tall powerful body was pumped with preternatural blood.

Weak as I would be with only the power Louis could give me, I would nevertheless be some twenty times stronger than I was now, and capable perhaps of summoning help from the others, for who knew what manner of fledgling I would become. Once the body was transformed, surely I’d have some telepathic voice. I could beg Marius for his help; or call out to Armand, or even Gabrielle—as yes, my beloved Gabrielle—for she would no longer be my fledgling, and she could hear me, which in the ordinary scheme of things—if such a word can be used—she could not.

He sat at his desk, as he had the entire time, oblivious to the draughts, of course, and the rain splattering on the slats of the shutters, and listening without a word as I’d spoken, watching with a pained and amazed expression as I’d climbed to my feet and paced in my excitement, as I had rambled on and on.

“Judge me not for my stupidity,” I implored him. I told him again of my ordeal in the Gobi, of my strange conversations with David, and David’s vision in the Paris café. “I was in a state of desperation when I did this. You know why I did it. I don’t have to tell you. But now, it must be undone.”

I was now coughing almost continuously, and blowing my nose frantically with those miserable little paper handkerchiefs.

“You cannot imagine how absolutely revolting it is to be in this body,” I said. “Now, please, do it quickly, do it with your greatest skill. It’s been a hundred years since you did it last. Thank God for that. The power is not dissipated. I’m ready now. There need be no preparations. When I regain my form, I’ll fling him into this one and burn him to a cinder.”

He made no reply.

I stood up, pacing again, this time to keep warm and because a terrible apprehension was taking hold of me. After all, I was about to die, was I not, and be born again, as it had happened over two hundred years ago. Ah, but there would be no pain. No, no pain … only those awful discomforts which were nothing compared to the chest pain I felt now, or the chill knotted in my fingers, or in my feet.

“Louis, for the love of God, be quick,” I said. I stopped and looked at him. “What is it? What’s the matter with you.”

In a very low and uncertain voice he answered:

“I cannot do this.”

“What!”

I stared at him, trying to fathom what he meant, what possible doubt he could have, what possible difficulty we must now dispose of. And I realized what a dreadful change had come over his narrow face—that all its smoothness had been lost, and that indeed it was a perfect mask of sorrow. Once again, I realized that I was seeing him as human beings saw him. A faint red shimmer veiled his green eyes. Indeed, his entire form, so seemingly solid and powerful, was trembling.

“I cannot do it, Lestat,” he said again, and all his soul seemed to come out in the words. “I can’t help you!”

“What in the name of God are you saying to me!” I demanded.