sealed it up good so Mike and I wouldn’t dig into it. Though if you don’t mind sharing a toffee with me…”
I tore through the tape on the box and dug it out. My senses were assaulted with the smell of sweets—the light fluffy milk chocolate of the Aero bars most prevalent. They brought back memories of stopping at the corner store down the street to pick up milk or other groceries for dinner. I’d splurge and use the change to buy myself a little comfort chocolate. A girl had to treat herself to some quality chocolate bars every now and then.
I pulled out one of the toffee bars and gently tossed it to Derek, who promptly did the traditional thing and slammed the bar on the floor. The usual practice was to slam it on the wall but that was too far out of his reach. He then opened the inner wrapping, pulling out the bite-sized broken pieces.
He held the wrapper out to me and I shook my head. “I don’t like how it sticks to my teeth.” My hand sifted through the box again, past bags of chips and candies. No letter or card. I frowned. Just a box of junk food?
“Did you see? I stuck a Canucks bumper sticker in there for you, too. What’s wrong?” Derek asked once he’d swallowed his bit of toffee. “Did we forget something?”
I darted a look up at him and shook my head. “Just thought Mum might leave a note or something.”
Derek hesitated, his eyes on the box and then he darted a speculative look up at me. “She, uh, I think she wanted to. But… she feels bad. She honestly doesn’t know where she and Dad stand with you. You know, since you haven’t reached out to us and they wanted to give you your space and independence. And…” he hesitated as if pondering something, then sifted through the wrapping to pull out another triangle of toffee and chew it slowly.
“And… what?” I prompted, lifting my brows.
“I think Mum feels a bit guilty about how everything was left. Because of the argument you two had. And you got so angry. Then she never really had a chance to work it out because… you were gone.”
I blinked at Derek, watching him as he recounted this version of the events that had transpired my last weekend in my family home. He seemed so sad, both for himself and at conveying our mother’s sadness, too. Did he blame himself? And why the hell was I feeling guilty? I was perfectly justified when all three of them were pointing fingers and staring me down and asking me to do something wrong, damn it.
I took a deep breath and let it go but didn’t respond, sadness suddenly gnawing at the edges of my being. Did they all think I’d wanted to leave things that way? That I of all people would be the one who wrecked our family? Because… because… my hands on the box tightened.
“Mum did say she misses you a lot. Dad too, of course. You’ve always been his favorite.”
How could I have been his favorite—or Mum’s favorite—when they barely even knew I existed? I was that other kid, the one they didn’t have to bother with because she didn’t have all the problems. The one whose sixteenth birthday they’d completely forgotten about because Derek’d had to get his stomach pumped at the hospital.
My brother set aside the rest of the toffee, carefully laying it atop his air mattress and turned back to me, hands on his knees. “Haven’t you ever thought about maybe coming back for a visit? We could clear things up. Stay in contact. It doesn’t have to stay like this.”
I folded my arms and as he spoke, I could feel my shoulders hunching protectively. My only response, though, was to vigorously shake my head.
“You haven’t thought about how easy it could be? I mean, how much you could help me out—”
I tensed. Here it came, what he’d wanted all along. Why he’d driven all this way. It had to be. He was no great savior of our family. The only think he was saving was his own skin.
“C’mon Kat, just this one thing and it all goes away for all of us. And you could do that. You. Don’t you want Lucas to meet the rest of your family?”
I stood and set the box down on the chair. I didn’t have to listen to this, and I wasn’t going