face. I tried not to think about the difference in how finding these texts made me feel from the previous time. There was no relief in finding this message on Kat’s phone. No numbness or indifference. The complete and total opposite, as a matter of fact.
This one text had turned me into some unthinking rage-furnace and I was already plotting ways to prevent this coffee date from happening.
I actually cared more about this incident with a fake wife than I had with Claire. Because I’d fucked up.
Because I’d known better than to get involved with Katya sexually. And up until she’d moved into my house, spending time with me twenty-four-seven, I’d been successful at keeping her at a safe distance.
But less than forty-eight hours after she’d moved in, I’d had my mouth between her exquisite thighs. Had I not passed out, I was certain it would have progressed much further than that. Just thinking about what could have been, even in my fury, was making my cock ache.
I wanted her too much.
And I’d wanted her for too long.
And that right there was the biggest reason why I should never ever have her.
I dressed quickly in jeans and a t-shirt and grabbed a pair of sneakers, my movements still stiff and jerky. As it was after seven now, I should probably wake her up to get ready for work. But the pettier part of me didn’t even want to look at her right now.
Damn, wasn’t it funny? You could change your name, your goals. You could change everything about where you thought you were headed as an adult. You could change your previous vision of the future. But you still had to rely on and trust other people. And you had no control over what they’d do. And no matter how much you endeavored to change, history could still repeat itself.
Maybe I was just a shitty husband who drove his wives—real and fake—to cheat. What was the psycho-babble term? Emotionally unavailable. I’d heard that a few hundred times while going through my first divorce and subsequent therapy sessions.
I was stuffing the last few things into my backpack, determined to get breakfast at the Draco cafeteria and eat at my desk, when Kat came out of the kitchen. She was fully dressed for work, her long shiny hair brushed out and gleaming over her shoulders.
“Damn it. There it is.” She scooped up her phone from the coffee table. Then she set those gorgeous big blue eyes on me, her sultry lips parted in a wide smile. “Hey you! Good morning. You feeling okay? I could make you a Caesar if we weren’t heading to work.”
“A Caesar?” I snapped, a little too quickly than I’d intended. I picked up my own phone and tucked into the front of my bag. “What the hell is that?”
“Oh, I’m sorry. I think you guys call it a Bloody Mary. Good for hangovers.”
I grimaced. “No thanks.” Not in the mood for any more chatter, I turned and grabbed the front doorknob to head out.
I glanced back to see that Kat’s eyes were on her phone. I hesitated as she unlocked it, morbidly curious to see her reaction to the text message. Would she confirm my suspicions? I was a glutton for punishment apparently.
Her eyes skimmed the text, and she frowned slightly. Then she typed out a text quickly in return. “Shit I forgot I had a coffee appointment with the Russian cosmonaut dude.”
“Hot date?” I couldn’t even help it. It just jumped out of my mouth.
She gave me side eye. “Hardly. He got my number from Jordan. Apparently his friend wants to start a Twitch channel, and he wants advice from me. I don’t even want to go. I just gave him a raincheck and told him I was hungover.”
“You didn’t drink last night,” I said, fighting hard to ignore the immense wave of relief that washed over me. She didn’t want to go. There was nothing between her and the cosmonaut guy.
But still, the indisputable fact that I had just about lost my shit when I’d thought otherwise was rattling me good.
“Wanna go in to work together?” She pocketed her phone and looked up at me expectantly. No discussion or even allusion to the goings on of last night. She was playing this very cool.
I swallowed, mind racing. “I’m riding my bike. See you in a few.”
She extended her arm toward me. “I can at least take your backpack in my car.”