“Immigration office? Oh shit, what if it says that your country doesn’t want me?”
He arched a brow at me. “Have you done anything in particular that would make them not want you?”
I bit my lip nervously and darted him a fearful glance. My heart was hammering like I’d just knocked over a liquor store and had made my great escape on foot. I could feel it in my throat. “What if they want another interview? What if they think we’re lying about the marriage?”
He grimaced. “I suppose we could send them a sex tape.”
I shook my head. “This isn’t funny. Besides, none of them deserve to see me naked.”
“True enough.” He gestured at the envelope. “Stop speculating about it and open the damn thing.”
I just couldn’t do it. I was so scared that I suddenly needed to pee. But if I stood up, my knees might be too shaky. And… without another word, I shoved the envelope at him. “You do it and be quick, before I barf everywhere.”
He stared at me for a long moment, then frowned. “Will the news—whatever it is—be any better coming from me than from a piece of paper?”
“Lucaaaaaasssss, please!”
He let out a long sigh and picked up the envelope. “Fine, fine.”
He tore the envelope open, unfolded the letter and began to read silently. Like, I’d never seen someone read that slow, honestly. Or so without reaction. He was like a statue reading that thing. And you would have thought it was printed on a ticker tape or something. Like he was waiting for it to scroll across his line of sight one word at a time. He read. And read. His eyes slid all the way to the bottom without saying a goddamn thing.
I couldn’t hold it in any longer. “Lucas!”
He put the paper down, laced his fingers together and looked at me with dead seriousness in his eyes. My stomach dropped. “Well, they’ve decided… to allow you to stay in the country.”
I didn’t trust my ears. “What?”
“Your green card is coming via certified mail in the next forty-eight hours.”
My mouth opened, but no sounds came out. I was frozen. So… this was it?
Now he seemed really concerned. He leaned toward me and spoke really loudly. “You can stay, Kat. You’re legal.”
I snatched up the letter and read it over and over again. Nope, he definitely wasn’t bullshitting me. Every muscle in my body sagged with relief. But something deep inside me though thankful and happy also felt more than a little guilty. I set the paper down, reflecting on that.
“Even though this took months to go through, it seems like it should have been so much harder. When you watch the news…” My voice cut out, suddenly choked up, remembering the images I’d seen on the news. People held at the border seeking asylum after having traveled for thousands of kilometres to get there. Separated from their families, their little kids.
Tears poked at my eyes. I should be happy for myself, right? But why? Was I any more deserving than any of them, to have this conferred on me relatively easily. That same thing they fought tooth and nail for their basic survival? I clenched my jaw and released it.
Lucas seemed really puzzled. “You seem sad.”
I shook my head. “There are so many people trying to get into this country. So many facing hardship and needing asylum. Why was it so easy for me?”
He reached out and grabbed my hand. “I’d hardly call it easy, though.”
I pushed the letter away from me, suddenly feeling a little sick to my stomach. “I’m speaking relatively. I had advantages… because I’m white and speak English as my first language. I have an education and was able to afford a great lawyer.”
He nodded. “Yes, you had a lot of advantages going into it. But I understand why you’re feeling upset.”
I shrugged. “I just wish I could do something. I feel helpless.”
“Hmm. Yes, well a green card means you get to stay here but you don’t get the right to vote. But there might be other good things you can do.”
I began to twirl my finger through my hair, ideas racing through my mind. I knew I should be happy. And that made me feel ungrateful. Just arghh.
“I feel bad. I want to help others.”
He blew out a breath with a lopsided smile. “Well you can’t marry anyone else until after