TAKE TWO_ Who says you can't ma - Heather M. Orgeron Page 0,71

my way home and will explain everything when I get there. It’s far too much to get into via text and would only delay me further.

I rehearse my apology a million different ways on the drive home, knowing nothing I say is going to be enough.

I thought I was being given a second chance with Nya, with this new baby, but now it just feels like life is playing a cruel fucking game with us. Of all things that could go wrong, why’d it have to be the club, again?

By the time I pull up to the house, I’m covered in a cold sweat.

“I’m home.” I glance around when no one, not even the dog, greets me at the door. The house is dark, but Nya’s car was out front, so I know she’s around here somewhere. “Nya? Ellie?” I peek my head into the kitchen.

“She’s staying the night at Hannah’s. She’ll drive her to school in the morning.” The grave tone of my wife’s voice coming from the direction of the living room has the hairs on my arms sticking straight up.

I round the corner to find her curled in the fetal position at the end of the couch with a blanket wrapped around her shoulders. Even in the darkness I can see her eyes are bloodshot, and her face swollen from hours of crying. The sight is a knife in my chest.

“That’s good.” I gulp past the knot that’s been wedged in my throat all day, dropping to my knees in front of her. “Nya, I’m so fucking sorry. You have no idea.” I try to take her hand, but she pulls it away.

“Just don’t.” She stares straight ahead, almost like she’s looking through me. “I drove by the club, worried I’d find you wrapped around a pole or in a ditch somewhere.”

Jesus. The shit that must be going through her head…

She shrugs, pushing her matted hair behind her ears. “So, I guess it could be worse, right? You could have been dead.” The smile that follows doesn’t reach her eyes. “And at least I know where I stand.”

“You’re first. You and our babies…you are always first.”

She nods. “Just not today.”

“Fuck!” I fist both hands into my hair and pull. “It’s not like that. You know it’s not like that. I wanted to be there.” I’m on my feet now, pacing the living room. “I was detained for questioning with the cops for something I didn’t do. It was Ram—”

She shrugs out of the blanket crossing the room to stand in front of me. Her voice is eerily calm, but firm. “Here’s what I know. I know that I gave you another chance. I went all in. I trusted you with my heart, Liam Michael, and once again you’ve broken it. That is what I know.”

I part my lips to speak, and she cuts me off. “I waited for you. I sat in that waiting room, staring at the door, so sure you would burst through with an explanation at any moment.”

“I’m so sorry.”

She hugs her arms to her chest. “Then I laid on that table, listening to our baby’s heartbeat…” The tears pouring down her cheeks rip my chest wide open. Her voice catches, “N-needing you there to share in that moment with me, but I was alone.” She chokes on a sob. “And do you know where that took me? That awful lonely feeling in the pit of my chest? It brought me back to the many nights I spent awake, rocking our screaming baby while she suffered with belly aches or cutting teeth, while you were oblivious and having the time of your life.”

“I wanted to be there more than anything.”

“Then you should have been!” She shouts, finally letting go her composure. “I don’t want to hear another word about that damn club! Because all I hear is an excuse. There is always going to be some crisis with that place that keeps you from us. I want a husband. I want my children to have a father who shows up. Who’s there for all of the special moments because there’s nothing in the world that could keep him away.”

I grip both of her forearms pulling her rigid body to mine. “You and our family. You’re all I care about.”

“Really? Because that’s not how it feels. Not then and not now.”

“It’s the truth.”

“Prove it.”

“How was I supposed to know Ramey was dealing drugs in a club I barely step foot into anymore… because of you?