Take A Number - Amy Daws Page 0,118
With Me Boulder Crew:
Wait With Me—Kate & Miles
Next In Line—Maggie & Sam
One Moment Please—Lynsey & Dr. Dick
Excerpt from Endurance
THIS IS WHAT SHAGGING THE crazy ones gets me.
Exhaling heavily, I shift my feet back and forth on the concrete as the cool October night air touches every inch of my body.
“The least she could do is turn the front step lights off,” I murmur to myself, hunching over and adjusting my grip. “Kat!” I whisper scream at the closed door. All I’m greeted with is more arguing that’s been going on for nearly five minutes now. “Open the bloody door! I’m out here with my fucking cock in my hands for Christ’s sake. This is complete shit!”
The screaming stops. My eyes widen and I’m suddenly not so sure I want to see what’s on the other side of the door. Maybe standing naked on a London street corner is a better option than facing the raging, fire-breathing dragon that is Kat.
With a high-pitched squeak, the door swings open and I’m met with eyes as dark as night, hair as wild as candy floss, and a lip with a curl that mimics a dog ready to attack.
“What exactly do you think is complete shit, Tanner?” She moves forward, forcing me backwards down the steps.
I look anywhere but her eyes because I’m quite certain they could turn me to stone. “Erm…nothing. I just…wondered if I might…nip in and grab my clothes and then I’ll be off.”
“You’ll be off all right. But if you think you’re stepping one fucking foot back inside my flat, you’re dead wrong. You called me by my sister’s name!”
“Right, but you guys look alike—”
“That was after you told me she sucked cock better than me!”
“You misunderstood…” I stammer.
She slams her hands on the frame of the door like she’s trying to stop herself from lunging at me. “Did I misunderstand your request for a threesome?”
I’m thankful my beard can hide the terrified quivering of my lips that’s not happening because of the cool air. If she senses my fear, I’m a goner.
“I just thought after the mishap it might help to mend some fences. You seemed upset when you realised I’d slept with your sister, so…” My stammering voice trails off as I take in the psychotic look in her eyes.
“Tanner Harris?”
I wince.
“GET STUFFED!” she screams and slams the door in my face.
I deflate as all hope of obtaining my clothes, wallet, and mobile crumbles to the cold ground beneath my bare feet.
“Way to fucking go, Tanner,” I mumble, releasing my grip to push my long hair back from my eyes and then returning my hands to cup my shrinking nutty buddies.
This is worse than last week when I had to jump from a second level balcony in West Yorkshire because the Spanish bird I met there didn’t tell me she was engaged. How was I to know the Catalan word for fiancé is promès? My dad was not pleased when pictures of me running through a back alley started popping up on Twitter.
At least she tossed me my stuff.
It’s brass monkeys out here and my boys need protection from the elements. I swerve my head around, looking for some form of shelter when a set of headlights begin to round the corner. I quickly scurry back up the stone steps to hide behind a pillar as I wait for the car to disappear. “How the fuck am I going to get out of this one?”
I spot a red phone box about twenty yards away and wonder if I can make a reverse call from it. Most phone boxes are ornamental these days—an iconic landmark for tourists to take pictures in front of. But it’s worth a check considering I don’t think either Kat or her sister is going to come to my aide any time soon. Plus, I really can’t afford to knock on anybody’s door around here. We lost a match at Tower Park today and I could be recognised since I’m near there.
My three brothers and I play professional football. My younger brother, Booker, and I play together for Bethnal Green F.C., which also happens to be the team our dad, Vaughn Harris, manages. So I know with absolute certainty that I’m in green and white country. Christ, I can even see our stadium from here.
On top of that, four months ago my twin brother, Camden, put the limelight on all of us even more when his love affair with his surgeon was plastered all over