to audition for Lear. I just did it because I knew you’d freak out if I didn’t.”
I took a step back from her. It was like she’d just pulled the solid ground out from under my feet. “You—what?”
“This!” Stevie said, pointing from her to me and back again. “I didn’t want to do this. And it seemed easier—”
“How is it not important to you? Our senior year, being in the shows together? You would throw that all away?”
“I’m not going to keep acting!” Stevie burst out. “It was just a fun thing I did in high school, but I’m not delusional enough to think—” She broke off.
“So,” I said. I was on the verge of tears but didn’t want to show it; my voice came out high-pitched and shaky. It was like she’d just reached right into my chest and yanked at my heart. “You think I’m delusional—”
“I think you can do whatever you want, but we don’t have to do the same stuff all the time, and you don’t seem to get that.”
“No,” I said, shaking my head. “You’re trying to turn this around on me, but you’re not being honest. You love acting and you’re pretending like you don’t and this is—”
“I swear to god.” Stevie was staring daggers at me. Brad was looking between the two of us, his ears back. “If you say Six Flags—”
“It is Six Flags! You’re standing in your own way and not actually giving it a shot, even though you’re amazing. I don’t understand how you can just throw all your talent away. Do you know what I’d give to be as good as you are?” My voice broke on the last word, but I made myself push through. “Do you even care? You never just go for anything, give it a chance—”
“It’s better than what you do.”
“What do you mean, what I do?” It suddenly felt like we were on a roller coaster, the moment you truly realize that there’s no way off—you just have to strap in.
“I mean the way it’s always all or nothing with you. You drop things when you’re done and move onto the next thing like it never even happened. You run full-out toward something, and never even think about if it’s what you really want.”
“I don’t—”
“You do, Kat. Beckett always said—”
“Beckett.” I rolled my eyes, my anger flying to the surface. “Please, enlighten me. I’m dying to know what the guy who dumped you said.”
“He didn’t dump me!”
This brought me up short. “What are you talking about?”
“The only reason Beckett broke up with me was because I gave him no choice,” Stevie snapped, then blinked, like she was surprised she’d just said this out loud.
“What?” I was now more confused than anything else. “What does that mean? And why wouldn’t you tell me?”
“Because sometimes it’s easier not to go into things. It can be exhausting, with you. You have to know that, Kat. You’re a lot. And you need so much reassurance. You want to go over everything a million times—”
“That’s better than you!” I swallowed hard, trying not to show how hurt I was that Stevie—my best friend—was saying this to me. “I might tell you too much, but you never want to talk about anything! You never say how you feel, ever. And at least I don’t keep things from you for months—”
“Don’t pull that. You lied to me tonight, to get me on the train! And now look—”
“And least I’m going for something that’s important to me, not just convincing myself I want to be a lawyer to get my dad to pay attention to me!” Stevie drew in a sharp breath, and I knew I’d crossed a line.
“Stop—” Stevie said, her eyes bright, but I was already talking over her.
“And I’m sorry that I had the idea to come into the city. It would have been way better to just lie around and be depressed, right? If it wasn’t for me, we’d never do anything fun, or have any adventures—”
“Going to see Mr. Campbell’s play is not my idea of an adventure, and I can’t believe you still want—”
“Of course I want to see it! This play is the only reason I even came into the city!” A second later, I realized what I’d just said, like the words were reverberating around the subway station. I felt the blood drain from my face. “Stevie—”
“That’s great,” Stevie said, her face pale and shocked, her eyes brimming with tears. “Well, thanks for finally