“I’m fine,” I finally say, my heart drumming now for a completely different reason.
Be. Still. My Heart.
“He didn’t hurt me, just scared me.”
Jake pulls away again, cupping my cheeks and wiping away a tear that I didn’t even realize had escaped. “No one ever scares my baby.”
I bite my lip, trying so hard to suppress the tears that want to shed at his words. He looks … fuck, he looks torn, broken, and lost, but he’s still my Jake.
Always my Jake.
“Will you come home with me … just for a little bit?” I attempt to shake my head as that’s the last thing I want, knowing my mother will be there, but he encases my head in his hands. “Stella’s not there. She’s out shopping … said she’ll be a while.”
I close my eyes, pain etched into my heart. I suddenly feel like a mistress sneaking around so I can get to see my man without the wife being home.
Realizing what he’s just said, he sighs. “I’m sorry. I’m doing it again. I don’t mean to. I just want to be alone with you—even if it’s only for a little while.”
I equally want but don’t want that too. My heart aches to be with him, but I also know that it will hurt my heart afterwards when we have no choice but to go our separate ways.
I’m about to tell him no, but then I look into his pleading eyes. The same piercing green eyes I always get lost in whenever they stare at me. Before I can even think about what I’m saying, the word “okay,” is out of my mouth. “We’ll drive somewhere for a coffee, but you will have to drive me back here as this is where my car’s parked.”
Jake smiles and nods his head before turning to Michael. He clears his throat. “Thanks for being here, Michael, but I can take care of things from here.”
The way he says this to him almost sounds like a threat. Michael curtly nods his head, but before he turns away, I call his name.
“Thank you,” I say earnestly to him before biting my lip. Guilt surfaces when he smiles back, telling me it was his pleasure. I’m not beholden to Michael, but he has been there for me a great deal lately. It makes me wonder how he truly feels, giving me all his time when this big, beast of a man bangs his chest in his direction every time he’s around me.
Before I can dwell on it too much, Jake grabs my hand and leads me to his car, which is only parked three spaces from mine.
“Are you really okay?” Jake asks, almost gritting his teeth.
“I wasn’t, but I am now.” When he closes his eyes on a sigh and starts the car, I say, “Jake, what’s going on? I know you want to say something, but for some reason you’re holding back.”
He glances my way before placing both hands on his steering wheel like he’s using it as something to give him strength. “I thought I could do this, but I can’t. Barely twenty-four hours, in and I’m already finding it so fucking hard.”
I know what he’s referring to, but I still want to hear him say it. “What are you finding hard?”
His hands grip the steering wheel until his knuckles turn white. An odd flashback of him doing this before we got together all those months ago flit through my mind, almost making me smile.
“I asked Michael to take care of you, but I can’t fucking do it. I thought I could, until I came here and saw you both together with his hands practically all over you.”
Jake’s exaggerating, but at the same time, I completely understand. It couldn’t have looked that great when he saw Michael and I, and if it were the other way around, I would feel the same too.
“You know my take on the situation—”
“I know, and I trust you. I’m not saying that. I just don’t like the thought of another man trying to take my place. I don’t like the thought that if he spends enough time with you that, eventually, he may very well convince you that being with him could be an option.”
I pause a moment, thinking about all the time Michael and I have spent together and that dream I had. I can understand his logic, but that dream was just that. I