I nod my head, and Jessie peers up, smirking. I mouth the words, “Stop that,” and she just winks at me.
Outside, the sun has appeared, the feel of the rays on my face making me smile. It’s a lovely autumn day. “So where are we headed?” I ask, turning towards him.
He motions towards his car. “I thought you may like to try Walmart. Matthew really wants some Redskins car seat covers for his birthday. I was going to get them, but I think they would be better coming from you. He loves you, and he’s still pissed at me, so maybe I’m not the best person for the job.”
Considering his somber expression, he appears to be rather sad. Thinking he may be makes my heart hurt for him. No matter what my feelings, I still care, and to know he’s hurting over his son makes me feel bad. I place my hand on his arm. “I’m sorry to hear that. He really does love you. In fact, I would go as far as saying that he worships the ground you walk on, so I’m sure it won’t last long.” We both take a seat in the car, then he starts the engine. “I don’t want to take your present idea away from you. Maybe we could think of something else.”
He shakes his head. “No, it’s okay. I have something else in mind. Maybe a better father, perhaps?”
I don’t like him beating himself up like this. It’s not like him to be so disheartened and pessimistic. “Jake, you can’t say things like that. You’re a great father, and I won’t have you put yourself down like this.”
I think Matthew and I need to have a little chat. I certainly don’t want any bad air between them—and I especially don’t want it to be over me. At the end of the day, they’re father and son, a bond that should never be broken over anyone—no matter who or what that person means to them.
“Thanks for saying that. I’m sure you’re right and things will settle soon. It’s still not nice to live with, though.”
My stomach drops as I think of Stella, but I’m curious to know what’s happening. “Have you heard from her at all?”
Jake flinches, knowing exactly who I’m referring to. “Yes. She made me come to her sonogram. She’s having a boy and is over the moon about it. She tried getting me to react, but all I feel is sick whenever I’m around her. She wants to start fresh with me and be a family, but I told her that won’t ever happen. I will provide for the baby—be a father to the baby—if it’s mine—but I won’t play happy families.” He sighs, and I see then just how much this is wearing him down. It makes my heart ache for him. “I’ve been piling on the pressure for her to take a paternity test. Apparently, it can be easily done now through taking a sample of her blood. I’ve already handed mine in, but she still refuses. It’s gotten to a point where I’ve had to get my attorney to draft an order up the moment the baby’s born.”
“When will the baby be born?”
I see the moment he grips the steering wheel tighter. “Thirteen weeks.”
I exhale a breath at the news. “That’s going to be the longest thirteen weeks of your life.”
Jake huffs. “Tell me about it.”
I say no more on the subject, and neither does Jake. I think it pains him to talk about it just as much as it does me. I know we’re both a victim of circumstance, but it still boils down to the fact that he may have fathered my aunt’s baby. Every time that notion enters my head, my stomach curls up in tight knots. If I don’t think of that, then I’m plagued with nightmares of the night she came back and how he treated me.
We make the short journey to Walmart in silence. It seems we’re both feeling a little down after the talk about Stella. However, once there, we manage to find some car mats which I buy, but unfortunately the car seat covers are not in stock. I start to panic as his birthday is just next week, but they manage to find a set in another store about twenty minutes away. I immediately feel relieved.
We get them in no time at all, and I don’t feel satisfied until I’ve paid for them