“All right,” Zaf barked at the kids. “Off your arses. Cool down.”
There were groans and moans, but everyone got up and started stretching.
Jamal caught Zaf by the shoulder and pulled him farther down the field. “They’ve been stalking your social media, your website, whatever, and they think you could be doing more.”
Zaf sighed and bent an arm over his head, stretching out his triceps. “What, are you feeding them lines?”
“No.” Jamal grinned. “I just happen to be right, and the kids are, too. They wanted you to know that if you need pictures of them, videos or whatever, they’d be happy to do it.”
Zaf switched arms, and looked over at the boys, who’d gone from stretching to shoving each other onto the grass. Warmth flooded his chest. “That would be great, actually.”
“They suggested something else, too,” Jamal continued carefully.
In the hollow of Zaf’s chest, just below his nervous heart, a bead of anxiety bounced around like a pinball. “I know what you’re going to say.”
“They think it’s weird that your website doesn’t mention who you are.”
Zaf bent his head to the left, which stretched out his traps and helped him avoid Jamal’s eyes. Two birds, one stone. “It does mention who I am. Qualified coach, four years’ experience in the charitable sector—cheers for that, by the way.”
“Yeah, okay. But what about Zafir Ansari, retired pro—”
“Retired.” Zaf snorted, straightening up.
“Retired,” Jamal repeated firmly. “You decided to stop, so you stopped.”
More like Zaf’s own brain chemistry had conspired to stop him getting out of bed, but sure.
“And,” Jamal went on, “the things you went through, during that time in your life, are part of why you’re doing something like Tackle It. You know it, I know it, potential supporters should, too.”
“Sure,” Zaf said flatly. “I’ll write an essay all about how I was a D-list rugby player who became a tragic story for bored gossip rags after my dad and brother died. Sounds like exactly the kind of attention I want.”
Jamal’s expression softened. “That was seven years ago, Zafir. The press aren’t going to notice an old pro’s new charity. But it’d impress head teachers and whoever else, trust me.”
“Give them inspiration porn, you mean.”
“There’s nothing wrong with being inspiring,” Jamal insisted, his voice low. He put a hand on Zaf’s shoulder and squeezed, looked him in the eyes. “Listen to me. I remember how things were. I remember when your anxiety got so bad you were scared to get out of bed or let Fatima out of your sight. And I remember how hard you worked to get that under control so you could live again. You don’t think that’s relevant to what you’re doing here?”
Zaf knew what his friend was trying to do, but that didn’t mean he had to like it. His jaw tight, he said firmly, “When you’ve moved past something, you don’t focus on the rearview mirror. I’m good now. I don’t need to go back there.”
“Mate, you know there’s a middle ground between—”
“Later,” Zaf muttered, and turned back to the kids. “You lot, stop tripping Allen up. If you break his ankle, his dad’ll burn your house down.” While the boys grumbled, Zaf picked up the phone he’d left by a bag of practice balls, mostly to avoid talking to Jamal. Unusually, as soon as he touched it, the screen buzzed to life with a notification from Tackle It’s Instagram page.
Speaking of, he should really get better at posting on there.
The phone buzzed again. Twice.
Jamal frowned in his direction. “Who’s texting you? No one texts you except me, and I’m here.”
“Charming.” And true. Buzz. Buzz.
“It’s not Kiran, is it?” Jamal asked casually. “I mean—home. Everything okay?”
Zaf shot him a strange look. “Why would it be Kiran?” And why is the first worry on your mind my brother’s widow?
Jamal shrugged, his gaze sliding away. But Zaf would bet his car that the man’s dark skin hid a blush.
“Seriously,” he pushed, “you and my sister have been acting—”
He was interrupted by yet another buzz, only this one . . . this one didn’t end. Buzz-buzz-buzz-buzz-buzz, just like Zaf’s heart when his anxiety really kicked off. He stared at the screen as notifications flared out of nowhere, moving so fast his eyes couldn’t follow.
After a moment of stunned silence, he said slowly, “I think my phone is having a panic attack.”
Jamal cracked up, which wasn’t helpful.
“Lucas!” Zaf snapped. “Get over here.”
The teenager scowled as he dropped his bike and peeled away from