Take a Breath (Take #1) - Jaimie Roberts Page 0,10

to me. My head was pounding, and I couldn’t figure out what happened or why I was there.

“Mum, what’s going on?” I asked.

She looked up at me, and I could see tears streaming down her face. “One of the neighbors heard you scream. Luckily, the back door was unlocked, so he was able to get inside. He managed to yank Alan off of you before—” A little sob escaped her lips as she continued. “There was a fight, but he managed to get away. The good news is that it’s doubtful he will ever come back.”

She has been right so far. I haven’t seen him since that terrible night. Although the police searched for him diligently, to this day, Alan has yet to be found. He seems to have disappeared right into thin air. So be it. He is a true monster, and the damage he caused has outlasted that single day. I have no doubt that he would be beyond thrilled to know that the effects of what I endured at his hand still haunts me even now.

I suspect that my mum found the whole thing more embarrassing than traumatic, and that is why she just wanted it to all go away as quickly as possible. I think she prefers to pretend it never happened at all. To that end, we moved on as soon as we could—right on to Mum’s next “romantic” adventure.

In addition to all the standard reasons for dating, I believe my mum craved anything that would distract her from me. After all, I was and still am the one reminder she hasn’t been able to banish entirely.

When I stop to really consider my relationship with my mother, I’m left with a cold, empty feeling inside. Why she didn’t put me up for adoption is, quite frankly, a mystery to me. Then, after this horrible thing happened to me, she acted like she was the injured party. I get the feeling that she actually blames me for what happened on some level—as if I somehow encouraged Alan’s behavior. Ever since that night, she has had a special knack for making me feel like I’m in the way of everything—as if I wasn’t meant to be in the first place.

Thankfully, now that I am older, I finally have the freedom to get away from her whenever I want. There’s no reason for me to put up with her shit anymore. In fact, I think I would have left permanently by now if not for my desperate need to be around Jake as much as possible. I just wish my mother was my only link to that memory. Unfortunately, there are still times when I relive what happened that night. To this day, I can’t stand the smell of whiskey because of it.

When my mind finally drifts back to the car, I find that Jake is glaring at me. Does he know about what happened to me? If he does, then that was a pretty low blow—especially coming from him.

“I don’t understand. Why are you so mad? And why do you think I need protection?”

He grits his teeth with a shake his head. “It’s just that men seem drawn to you. You’re like honey to a bee, and you make them crazy.”

I’m stunned by this. I can’t fathom what on earth he means. My stepfather has been my only issue, and I don’t think he even knows about it. I look at him with shock and confusion. “Are you angry with me or something?”

Jake sighs. “No, I’m not angry with you. It’s just—”

“Just what, Jake? What is it you would like me to do? Move out?”

He visibly winces at my comment and tightens his grip on the steering wheel. “No, of course not. Forget I said anything.” Turning, he puts the car in drive, and we make our way back home in awkward silence.

After Jake’s outburst, I quickly start sobering up. I don’t know what to think or how to react when I’m around him. A part of me desperately wants him to look at me the way I look at him. I know that I’m obsessed, but I don’t know what to do about it.

After the thirty-five-minute journey, Jake parks the Range Rover in the garage and unlocks the door to the house. It’s silent inside, and all the lights are off.

Jake looks all around the house. “Stella? Matthew?”

I hear a door open upstairs, and Matthew pops his head over the stairwell. “Hey, Dad. Hey, Ana. Did