He woke me, as he often did, when the full moon was up. Max, my Husky, was the first to wake, the clatter of his nails on the hardwood floor of my bedroom enough to jerk me awake. Buster, the retriever cross, moved sluggishly when Max got up, walking over to the big picture window across from my bed.
A howl rang through the night air, cutting through the peace and quiet, alerting the whole valley to the wolf’s presence on my land.
Could any being convey a complete and utter feeling of longing and need in their voice like a wolf? The long, ululating sound drew out until everyone knew exactly how he felt.
But also how I felt—lonely, wanting what I couldn’t have, and miserable, even though I knew it was pointless. But I had no throat with which to voice it. Instead, I grit my teeth hard.
“Shut up, Jai,” I said, punching my pillow and flopping back down on to it, then wrapping another around my head when it didn’t stop. “Just shut up.”
Chapter 2
“It’s OK, it’ll all be OK,” I crooned, running my hand along his furry flank.
Rex, the Gordons’ beautiful German Shepherd, panted frantically as he lay on the stainless steel bench.
“That’s good. Keep talking to him,” Stuart, the vet, said as he slid an oxygen mask over the dog’s muzzle. “Blood pressure’s starting to stabilise. Keep going. Tell him what a good boy he is.”
I moved around the table to the dog’s head, stroking those plush black ears as I mumbled the kind of nonsense people do to dogs, but that wasn’t what was helping Rex hold on while the vet and the nurses worked, it was this.
I dove into the dog’s mind, his thoughts and feelings a maelstrom of fear and pain. Rex didn’t understand what had happened, though I’d heard he got clipped by a car from the Gordons when they brought his limp body into the practice.
Emergency was the bit I hated the most about working at the vets. This dog was a big, strong athlete, usually running into the surgery on light feet. Not like this, weak as a puppy when I needed him to fight the hardest.
Janey, the receptionist and my friend, quickly took Rex’s details down as he was admitted, but I walked over, unable to stop my hand going to the dog’s side and Mr Gordon’s shoulder.
“It’ll be OK,” I said.
“You’re the vet? An SUV going much too fast just plowed into him and—”
“Mr Gordon?” Stuart said, coming out into the reception area. “I’m Stuart Wilson, your vet. Bring Rexy through, and we’ll see to him straight away.”
“So who is…?” the man asked as Stuart approached.
“This is Shannon, one of our colleagues. She has an amazing manner with animals, keeps them calm and happy when they wouldn’t otherwise be able to. Now, let me take your boy. We’ll do our very best for him.”
“That’s my boy, my very good boy,” I told Rex as I dropped in deeper.
For a moment, I was alone with my heartbeat and that tremulous feeling of doubt. Would I be able to help Rex? Keep him hanging on until Stuart could restore the equilibrium to his traumatised body? I’d done this hundreds of times, but the doubts always came.
We hold them in our hands, Nan said in my mind. Hold them gently, care for them, but be ready to let go when the time comes.
Not this time. Not Rex, I swore to myself.
Animals, after being hit by cars, often go into shock, their bodies shutting down all non-essential functions to try and survive the impact of what has happened. It was a dangerous time, one where a dog that did not appear to have severe injuries could still end up dying due to not being stabilised through the process.
Rex’s mind was both chaotic and sluggish, like wading through a thick current as I sank into it. I kept repeating the calm, soothing words, but they felt like pissing in the wind right now. His heart was beating so fast yet his blood pressure was dropping. I took a long, deep breath, feeling Rex unconsciously imitate me as I did so. I closed my eyes and then pushed out.
You are loved.
Patients like Rex were easier to help, as it was clear to see that the Gordons cared desperately for their dog. My words exploded inside him, and then I watched their effects ripple out.
As the feeling behind them was understood and picked up, I got to