‘I beg your pardon! No! What sort of question is that to ask your grandmother?’ I splutter.
‘Well, when people say “a lady never tells”, that’s usually what they mean,’ Leena says, sounding amused. ‘Are you really not going to tell me anything about this Tod?’
‘No, I don’t think I am,’ I decide.
I told Fitz all about it, but I swore him to secrecy, and he said he wouldn’t pass anything on to Leena. I just don’t much want to discuss my new ‘casual fling’ with my granddaughter.
‘Well,’ Leena says grudgingly, ‘I suppose I did tell you to go and do something for yourself.’ She pauses. ‘Grandma … Can I ask you something?’
‘Of course.’
‘Has anything happened to Mum? Anything you’ve not told me?’
‘What do you mean?’ I ask carefully.
‘She mentioned “episodes”.’
I close my eyes. ‘Ah.’
‘What happened?’
‘She’s just had a few … wobbles.’
‘Wobbles like getting tearful on the bus? Or wobbles like she had to go to the doctor?’
‘The second one, love.’
‘How could you not tell me that?’
‘I did keep telling you she was struggling, Leena.’
‘Yeah, but I thought you meant – I thought she was – I didn’t realise she’d been having breakdowns.’
‘I thought she’d tell you herself, if she wanted to. I didn’t want to interfere.’
‘And when you left me here to look after Mum, you didn’t think it was worth mentioning that she might have one of these “episodes” at any moment? What happens? Do I need to check in on her more? How bad are we talking? What did the doctor say?’
I rub the bridge of my nose. ‘Dr Piotr gave her some tablets a couple of months ago.’
‘Antidepressants?’
‘I think so.’
‘Is she taking them?’
‘I think so.’
‘OK. All right. God, Grandma. It’s – I appreciate you not wanting to interfere, but … I wish you’d told me.’
‘Would it have changed how you felt? Would you have come home sooner?’
There’s a long silence. ‘I like to think it would, but I – I know I’ve been … a bit weird about Mum lately. But I want things to be better. Bee says I’m not myself, and she’s right, and I think it’s partly that, you know, the distance between me and Mum, how angry she makes me … I want to fix that. For me, as well as for her.’
I smile slightly. And, well, if interfering is allowed, now …
‘She wants that too, love. She misses you desperately.’
Leena sniffs. There’s a moment’s silence, and then: ‘Got to go, Grandma – there’s a man calling on your mobile to talk to me about falconry.’
‘Pardon?’ I say, but she’s already gone.
I sigh. Now I’m worrying about Marian more than ever.
I’m just about to turn off Leena’s telephone when a message pops up at the top of the screen. It’s from someone called Ceci. I’m sure I remember Leena mentioning her. Wasn’t she the awful, catty one from work?
Hey Leena! Just wanted to let you know the Upgo project is going really well in your absence, going from strength to strength really, in case you were worrying about it! Let me know if you’re going to be down in London anytime soon, Cx
I frown. Leena doesn’t need to be reminded about that Upgo project, and she’s not given Ceci her new phone number, which means she didn’t want to hear from her while she was away. I seem to remember Leena describing this woman as ‘eighty per cent leg, twenty per cent bad intentions’; something tells me she doesn’t have Leena’s best interests at heart. I tsk and close the message.
I’m fidgety after that phone call with Leena; I look around for a job to keep me busy. I’m just eyeing Fitz’s washing up when I spot Leena’s laptop on the breakfast counter and perk up. Perhaps Tod is available to talk.
There is a new message waiting for me on the dating website, but it’s from someone new.
OldCountryBoy says: Hello, Eileen. I hope you don’t mind me saying hello?
OldCountryBoy’s profile picture is photograph of him as a young man, dressed in a loose white vest with a cap on his head. He was certainly handsome then, but that doesn’t mean a lot now. Though I don’t mind so much about handsome. After all, Wade was a real looker, and see how he turned out.
EileenCotton79 says: Of course! I’m on this website to meet people.
I hesitate, and then, after a moment’s thought, add a smiling face, like Leena does when she’s texting. It’s a bit flirtatious