Swimming in the Dark - Tomasz Jedrowski Page 0,59

surrounded us, and now it was all forest, a sea of pines. And then, at an unmarked dirt road, Maksio turned the car and we drove all the way down through the dense forest until we came to a gate. Hania got out and unlocked it, and we drove through, just as night was falling, along an avenue with tall stately poplars.

At the end of the lane there was a house. It was white, clear against the dusk like a ghost, with thick proud columns supporting the triangular roof of the veranda. Leaves and little twigs crunched under our shoes as we climbed out of the car. The house stood there majestically, oblivious to our presence. It was a dwór, an old country estate, that must have been there for centuries already, and would outlive us all, I thought, and I admired it for that, for all it had already seen and all it would still see and which we would never know.

Maksio unlocked the front door, switched on the light inside. The smell of dry cedar invaded my mind. There were old faience stoves, fireplaces and hunting trophies, the heads of boars and deer, oriental carpets covering the floors. A place of pleasure and peace, indifferent to governments, faithful to whoever happens to be in power. You said something about how impressive it was, this house, and I remained silent, thinking how undeserving you all were of it.

We followed Hania upstairs, where she gave us our room: you and I would be sharing. She had the room next to ours. Maksio and Agata had taken another bedroom downstairs.

‘My parents are coming on Sunday,’ said Hania, pointing to a large door at the end of the corridor. ‘That’s their room.’

‘Isn’t this house something?’ you said as we put down our things and unpacked. ‘It’s practically a castle.’

I nodded. I wanted to be alone, to have the place all to myself, to take everything in. There was a view over the garden – a park, really – oblong and wide like several sports fields and bordering the forest. I stood and watched the last specks of light dissolve above it, forgetting myself, until the darkness outside was complete and I could see my face in the window. I turned back to the room. It was large, probably as big as Pani Kolecka’s little flat. There were two single beds, heavy and gleaming, separated by a nightstand with a porcelain lamp. A door led to a large bathroom with a bathtub. I turned on the tap, enjoyed the savage rumble of the water filling the tub. Steam rose from it. I undressed and got in, leaving the door open to see what I could of the park. The water was too hot, scalding almost, but it embraced me. I lay there for a long time, feeling my skin prickle from the heat, feeling droplets of sweat form on my forehead, letting my mind wander. After a while my eyes closed all by themselves.

When I woke, my body felt cold and suffocated by water. I got out of the bath, my head spinning with hunger, and dried myself with a towel as thick as a kotlet. Then I saw that you were gone. I dressed quickly and went downstairs but found no one. I walked around, taking it all in – the dignified wooden furniture, the smell of past fires, the large veranda leading out into the infinite darkness of the garden, the forest a mere silhouette in the distance. And then there were voices, low and hushed. I couldn’t tell whose they were. I walked to where I thought they were coming from, and found you and Hania in the kitchen. You were standing close together, as if dancing, I thought, but with your arms loose, your faces concentrated and intimate. Hania spoke to you with a smile; you frowned, and then broke into laughter.

‘Tell me,’ I heard her say, teasingly, but you held your sphinx-like smile and shrugged.

As soon as I approached, your heads turned to me in one single movement. And you edged slightly away from her. Her face changed, from intimate to casual.

‘There you are!’ she cried. ‘Are you hungry, Ludzio?’ I looked at you for an explanation, but it was as if you were in character.

‘Starving,’ I said.

That night, after dinner – roast beef with beetroot mash and apples that Hania had brought from home and warmed up in the oven – we made a fire in the