Swept Away (Wildfire Lake #3) - Skye Jordan Page 0,29

like I was standing on a cliff edge—a cliff edge spanning a cavern with something on the other side that actually makes me want to jump.

“No need to get comfortable here,” I tell him. “You can head home.”

“I’m not leaving you with all this.” He gestures to the boxes. “What kind of shitty boyfriend would do that?”

Something skips in my stomach. “Don’t get used to that title. We both know you’re going to shed it the second these ten days are over.” I narrow my eyes. “You do realize that you can’t date anyone else while you’re supposedly dating me, right? If that got out, it would be worse than people thinking I took Bodhi back. It would look like—”

“You’re a repeat offender. I get it.” His gaze turns inquisitive. “Is that what all your resistance with me has been about? Me dating other women? Because I’ve told you I would drop everyone else for you in a heartbeat.”

I’ve deftly danced around saying just that, because even if he did say he only wanted me, I wouldn’t believe him. That’s exactly what Bodhi told me, and look how that turned out. And he’s most definitely not said he’d stop seeing other women. But even if he had, I wouldn’t have taken him up on it. Once a playboy, always a playboy.

“And, I can’t lie.” He steps close, tucks a knuckle under my chin, and lifts my gaze to his. “That kiss turned my head, beautiful. Let’s just double-check on that chemistry.”

He lowers his head, and I put a hand against his chest, leaning away. “Hard pass.”

“Worried you might like it a little too much,” he says as if it’s fact. “Valid concern.”

“Whatever.” I drop my hand. “If you’re not going to leave, then you can haul a couple of those boxes inside.”

I turn and open the door.

“Tame that enthusiasm,” he says with thickly edged sarcasm. “A boy could get the wrong idea.”

I step into the living room, careful to stay in the path I created earlier. Xavier stops short at the sight of the sea of pink and groans. Internally, I feel the same, and looking at them all again just brings up my negative thoughts. I really could use Xavier’s help.

“You already offered,” I say, singsong.

Hands on hips, he surveys the totes. “I did open my big mouth, didn’t I?”

“You definitely did.”

I follow the narrow path I created with the bags to the middle of the room, which serves as both living room and kitchen, and reach toward the counter to open a drawer and pull out a box cutter.

When I turn around, I find him fiddling with the handle of the door leading to the deck. “What are you doing?”

He pulls his cell from his back pocket and texts someone. “How long have I been telling you to get better locks?”

“I have a few other pressing matters to deal with at the moment.”

“I don’t.” He gets a return text and says, “I’ll be right back.”

“Wilde,” I yell after him, “don’t you bail on me after you said you’d help.”

But he jogs down the dock and disappears into the darkness. I sigh and shake my head. If anyone else had done what he’d done tonight, I’d be too pissed to speak, but I’ve always found it difficult to stay angry with Xavier.

I turn back to the mess at my feet and look at the boxes of Bodhi’s books. It’s surreal to know he’s so close. All this time, I pictured him on the other side of the world, still bedding his groupies. Now he’s in my freaking backyard saying he misses me and that he’s changed.

I pull a schedule out of a tote bag and find my name at the book signing, round tables, Q&A, discussion panels. I’d planned on supporting Shannon before I knew that name belonged to Bodhi. I remember how hard it was for me to get started in this business, how nervous I was to be an instructor and then a leader. I planned on reading this book tonight so I could see if our beliefs on spirituality meshed.

Now, I just feel stupid, which is exactly how I felt when I discovered he’d been unfaithful to me, naïve and stupid. I’m disgusted with myself for needing it, but, yeah, space between me and Bodhi would be best.

I make a spot for myself in the corner of the room and carry a box of books in, then I start trading my book for Bodhi’s.

Memories hit me