To his credit, Greg waited until we were in the car. With his hands braced against the steering wheel, he stared straight ahead and asked, “What was that about?”
I wasn’t sure where to begin, so I started with the basic information. “Bob was friends with a man who worked as my handyman. His name was Mark Taylor.”
“Was?”
“He’s gone.”
Greg glanced toward me, frowning. “Gone as in moved away? Gone as in dead?”
“Yes,” I said, the word barely making it past the hard lump in my throat.
“Which is it?”
“Both,” I choked out. “Mark left me…and returned to the Middle East to rescue an Iraqi national, a friend. That was a year ago and we’ve…I haven’t heard from him in months…I can only assume he didn’t make it out.”
The air inside the car felt stifling. “You loved him?”
“Yes.”
Greg didn’t say anything for a long time. “Do you still care for him?” he asked.
This wasn’t as easy a question to answer. Of course I continued to love Mark; I always would. But, as with Paul, he was part of my past and I had to leave them there.
“Jo Marie?” Greg pressed.
“Yes,” I said. “I love Mark. But like I said, he’s not coming back.”
Again, Greg was silent and when he spoke his voice was strained. “I’m not sure where that leaves us.”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“You love someone else.”
“Yes, but he left. There’s no way to know what happened to him, and I have to accept he’s not going to return. Paul didn’t come back, either…I can’t live the rest of my life with pain and regrets…I loved them both but they’re gone.” My voice cracked, and struggling not to give way to emotion, I covered my face with both hands. Leaning forward, I pressed my forehead against my knees.
Greg wrapped his arm around me and I felt his face press against my spine. “I’m sorry, Jo Marie.”
I straightened and dragged in a deep, calming breath, not sure I understood his apology. “Sorry for what? Sorry that you ever met me…”
“Never that.” He pressed his lips to my temple. “I sat in church this morning and thanked God for sending you into my life.”
The things this man said to me. They seemed to be aimed straight at my heart. I attempted a smile. “Sorry that I loved another man?”
His lips remained close. “Your heart has a huge capacity to love, that’s part of what I find so attractive about you.”
Again I attempted a smile.
“I’m sorry you’ve lost two men that you’ve loved. It about killed me when Julie died; I couldn’t imagine going through that grief twice.”
Reaching for his hand, I gave it a hard squeeze. “The difficult part is not knowing…it took over a year for Paul’s remains to be recovered. I’ll never know how or when Mark died. My only consolation is from one cryptic postcard I received that he seems to have located his friend, and for that I’m grateful.”
Greg didn’t have much to say on the drive back to the inn. I knew what I’d told him was a lot to process. I wished I had the words to ease his worries.
He parked in my driveway and didn’t get out of the car. I’d planned to serve us lunch. The silence between us felt oppressive and weighed heavily on me. In an effort to cover the awkwardness, I started talking like I couldn’t get the words out fast enough.
“I made tomato soup from the tomatoes in the garden. You sauté the stewed tomatoes with finely chopped onion and celery and add fresh herbs. I did mention I started an herb garden this year, didn’t I? Anyway, once the tomatoes and other vegetables cooked down I strained them and…”
“I’m not feeling very hungry, Jo Marie.”
My shoulders stiffened. What he was really saying was that he had some serious questions about our relationship. “Oh. Okay.”
His gaze drifted toward the garden. “Awhile back you mentioned your handyman tilled your garden, or used to. Was that Mark?”
I nodded.
Clearly, learning about Mark had given him pause. I put my hand on the door handle. “I’m not going to apologize for having loved him, Greg. I’m sorry if that upsets you…I think it might be best if you took some time to think this relationship over and decide what you want to do. When you’re ready to move forward, if that’s something that interests you, then give me a call.”
With my heart in my throat, I climbed out of the car and headed