The Sweet Talker (Boston Hawks Hockey #1) - Gina Azzi Page 0,59

cold and my eyes burn. Shit, am I going to cry? What is wrong with me? I need to stop drinking.

I place my wine glass down and pop open the pizza box, sliding a slice on each of our plates.

“Indy, don’t be mad. I just, I fucked up, okay?”

I look at Noah, waiting for more.

“I like being with you, Indy. A hell of a lot more than I should. And, look, we agreed from the beginning that we would keep it casual. I’ve got Austin bitching at me that you’re not like other girls, which I know,” he adds when my eyes narrow. “I’ve got to keep my head in the game right now. The Hawks are off to a solid start, even without my brother, and I can’t let my team down. I can’t afford any distractions.”

“So I’m a distraction now?” I bite out, knowing that I am because he’s also a big fat distraction in my life too. But am I just a distraction?

Noah blows out a sigh, tipping his head. “I like you, Indy. But we both know there’s nothing more for us than this.” He gestures between us.

“Hot sex and pizza,” I surmise, taking a large bite.

He snorts but when I don’t react, his face falls. He reaches out, his touch featherlight as it travels over my wrist.

I drop my head, trying to get control of my emotions. I know what Noah and I agreed to. I know I said I would let him know if I started to catch feelings and I didn’t. I didn’t tell him how much I looked forward to seeing him, how I began to crave the feel of his arms around me. I didn’t tell him that when we had sex it started to feel more like love. Love! I cringe, chewing my pizza.

What am I supposed to do? Tell him now when he’s adding distance between us that I’m falling for him? I swallow.

No way am I setting myself up for even more disappointment. I’ll be fine. I’ll get through this. My heart squeezes and I press my fingers into the center of my chest, trying to alleviate some of the pressure.

Noah catches the movement and I clear my throat, pulling his eyes to mine.

Forcing my expression blank, I shrug nonchalantly. “It’s fine. I get it. It was fun while it lasted and we had some good times together, right?”

Noah tips his head, studying me. After a second, he nods slowly.

“Thanks for bringing this.” I lift my slice of pizza in the air, folding it in half. My body starts to shut down as I force my mind to turn off my emotions. “Honestly, I’m exhausted. But, it’s good we had this chat so we know where we stand. Still cool, right?”

He nods, picking up his slice. “Do you want to hang for a bit?”

I bite my bottom lip trying to keep the torrent of tears at bay. Is he kidding me? We just kind of, sort of, broke up and he wants to “hang”? My emotions pull my thoughts in contradicting directions. On the one hand, I do want him to stay. I want him to stay because he wants to be with me, not because of some stupid friends-with-benefits agreement. On the other hand, I can’t wait for him to leave so I can throw myself back into my bed and sob my eyeballs out.

Clearly, that’s the more rational choice. I shake my head. “I’m really not up for it.”

Noah’s face falls but I steel my resolve not to give in. After all, he pretty much blew me off by taking our dinner reservation and giving it to Aiden. What the hell was he even thinking?

Noah finishes his slice quickly. The chemistry between us turns stale as we both stand from my little kitchen table. How the hell did we get here? Just last week, Noah was lighting up my nights and now, he’s ruining them.

I walk him to the door and pull it wide open. “See ya around, Noah.”

He hesitates, shifting from one foot to the other. He works a swallow, his Adam’s apple bobbing.

Please say something. Take it all back. Tell me you feel what I feel. Tell me you want this. Me.

I wait him out, my heart more hopeful than it should be.

Finally, Noah sighs and dips his head. “Good night, Indy.”

I bite the corner of my mouth to keep from crying in front of him. But as soon as he clears the threshold,