Sweet Seduction - Maya Banks Page 0,63

back on the couch and stared up at the ceiling. "If I tell you this you're going to think I'm the biggest moron on the face of the planet."

"I'm afraid that particular title is mine," Julie said. "So spill."

Serena sighed. "I've been so preoccupied with worrying over whether this whole thing with Damon would last. What if I wouldn't want the type of relationship he wants long term? What if we got to that point and he couldn't accept that I no longer wanted it? What if, what if, what if until I've driven myself crazy with all the what-ifs."

"Recognizing your illness is the first step in your recovery," Julie said sagely.

Serena laughed. "Oh stop, Julie. I'm being serious here."

"Continue on," Julie said with a wave of her hand.

"When he asked me to marry him, all I could think was that in his position of power, how could he ever know why I accepted? Every time he's asked me, the power is weighted toward him. I don't know but it made me uncomfortable. I want... I want our marriage to start out on equal terms even if during the course of it I cede control and power to him."

"You want it to be your choice."

"Exactly! I don't want him to ever look back and doubt that I came to him freely, doubt that I gave myself entirely to him because it was what I wanted. I don't want him to think I was under some spell and would have agreed blindly if he asked me to jump off a bridge."

Julie snickered.

"Oh shut up," Serena grumbled. "I know it sounds ridiculous. Maybe some of what inspired Faith's ninniness rubbed off on me."

"There does seem to be a lot of that going around," Julie said wryly. "I wasn't immune to it, unfortunately."

Serena gave her a quick hug. "Well, we can all be stupid twit females together."

"You'll only be a stupid twit if you keep refusing Damon's proposals."

Serena pulled away and smiled one of her sexy, secretive smiles that probably drove men insane with lust. "Actually, I plan to ask him to marry me. Today. I figure he can't ever think that he coerced me if I do the asking."

"Oooh, sneaky, devious. I love it! I'd pay real money to be a fly on the wall when you ask him."

"Yeah, I'm pretty fond of the idea myself."

"So? What are you doing over here? Get your ass back to your man and propose."

Serena smiled and squeezed Julie's hands again. "Because you're my friend and seeing you was more important this morning. I had to make sure you were okay."

"Well, thanks. I'm fine. Really. Nothing a day of pampering myself won't fix."

"Want to do lunch this week when Faith gets back?"

"The hell with lunch. When she gets back we need to have a girls' night out. Lots to celebrate. Her marriage, your engagement."

"Okay, done. Faith is supposed to roll in Tuesday morning. Or at least that's when Damon's jet is supposed to land. Knowing those two, it's entirely possible they'd miss their own flight."

"Go, go," Julie said, making shooing motions with her hands. "Go propose to that man of yours. I'm so excited I can't stand it. Call me tomorrow and let me know how it went."

Serena smiled so big Julie thought her mouth might crack. Now she knew what pure, unadulterated joy looked like.

"I will. Catch you later."

Serena got up and with a small wave disappeared down the hallway to the front door. Julie watched her go with a peculiar twist in her chest. There went one happy woman.

Chapter 22

Serena smiled at Sam when he opened the back door for her. She leaned up and kissed the startled man on the cheek and all but flew to the front door.

She burst into the living room expecting to find Damon sitting in front of the fire with his book and a glass of wine, but to her disappointment the room was empty. She quickly weighed her options. He could be in his office, but if that was the case she didn't want to interrupt work with what she hoped to be a special moment. Or he could be up in the bedroom, which offered a whole host of possibilities.

She turned eagerly, only to see Sam walk into the living room.

"Miss James, you left the car so quickly I didn't have time to inform you that Mr. Roche is on the terrace. He wished you to join him when you returned."

"Thank you, Sam," she said as