I swallow and let a wave of hesitation rush through me. “Yeah…”
“I’m sorry I was so caught up in the hype and everyone was so amped up about the win, I couldn’t really focus.”
“Of course! It’s totally fine, I get it. The excitement in the air after that game was palpable. I didn’t think I was a huge sports fan, but I’ve never felt a rush like that. I can’t imagine what it must be like for you.”
He laughs and shakes his head, keeping his arm tightly looped through mine as we slide over the ice. “Adrenaline just takes over. Nothing exists in my mind besides football. Well, except today.”
I frown and glance at him. “What do you mean?”
“At risk of sounding like a total pussy, I kept thinking about you. Just like…” He runs his fingers through his hair. “I don’t know. Your smile and your laugh and the way your eyes light up like fireworks whenever you talk about your passions and adventures.”
The butterflies return to my stomach in full force, and I keep my eyes fixed downward on the ice so he doesn’t see my rosy blush. “That’s insanely sweet.”
He shrugs. “It’s true. I couldn’t let you see us lose, that’s for damn sure.”
“Well…” I bump my body against him and let myself get as close as I want. “I loved watching you play. I couldn’t take my eyes off of you. Even when the Riders were on defense, and you were just on the sidelines,” I admit, laughing softly in embarrassment, but also feeling light and floaty and airy.
“Ah.” Matt draws out the word and looks down at me with a teasing wink as we round another side of the rink. “So you don’t actually have a new love for football, you just dig me.”
“Oh, would you cram it?”
“You dig me, Ellie Vice.”
I savor the last moments of this night that won’t consist of talking about our baby or the future or the massive, heaping pile of unknowns. The blissful, fleeting moments I can spend with Matt and, just for a little while, almost forget about the confusing mess that is my life. Our lives.
“Now. What was it you wanted to tell me? For real.”
I take a long, slow breath of the cool air. “Okay.” I swallow and brace myself for the heavy change of conversation. “Someone knows you’re the father.”
“Someone?” Matt asks, more curious than freaked out and even slightly amused instead of pissed.
“Yeah, uh…someone in my family.” I pause for a second until the beats of silence make me panic a little. “It’s not my dad,” I add quickly, waving a hand.
“I’m gonna guess Noah,” Matt says slowly, a hint of a smile at the corner of his mouth.
He’s not…mad? He’s not even upset.
“Uh…yeah.” I try to process my shock at how completely and totally chill he’s being about this. “Yeah, it’s Noah. I didn’t exactly go out of my way to tell him, but we were talking about you and the PR stuff, and…well…I just couldn’t keep it to myself anymore. I’m sorry.”
“Ellie.” Matt turns to me, his skate making a carving sound in the ice as he holds my shoulders, and we both slow to a stop along the edge of the rink.
“He was definitely going to figure it out sooner or later. And I didn’t want to—”
“Hey.” He keeps his strong hands on both of my shoulders and levels his gaze with mine, inching forward on the ice. “Look at me. It’s okay. Your family is going to have to find out eventually, but…” He glances off to the side, then back at me. “I’m sure as hell glad Noah is the first to know.”
“And only,” I add. “For now, anyway. Until I can figure out the best possible way to tell my dad.”
He puffs out a breath. “What does he think right now? I mean, hasn’t he asked?”
“Yeah, he’s asked, of course. They all have.” We turn to face forward and start skating again, the easy, smooth movement calming my nerves. “I just give a very vague answer that it was a one-time thing and…” I lift a shoulder. “It happened. But as of right now, my dad doesn’t think there’s going to be any father in the picture whatsoever.”
“What?” Matt looks down at me, his eyes wide and his brows furrowed with concern. “I am going to be in the picture, Ellie. Your parents don’t have to love me, but it’s still my kid.”