“That wasn’t fair.” A rush of color flooded Ben’s cheeks. “I was the one who lied. I’m sorry.”
“Is that what’s been bothering you for the last two days?”
Ben nodded.
“Was lying worth the worry?”
Ben shook his head. “You should have said something.”
“No, I wanted you to tell me the truth because you wanted to be honest with me.”
“So…you’re not leaving?” Ben signed his question, the movements of his hands almost hesitant, as if scared of the reply.
Bull slowly shook his head. “I want all the firsts you’re willing to give me.” He stilled his hands from signing to swipe at a fresh tear spilling from Ben’s steady gaze. “I want to be permanent.”
His back almost hit the coffee table behind him when Ben threw himself into his arms. He closed his eyes and held Ben close, breathing him in, begging for the somber cloud hovering over them to finally vanish. Still holding Ben, Bull stood. He was rewarded by the arms slipping around his neck and squeezing him closer. After stealing a few more seconds, he finally set Ben’s feet on the floor and broke away from the embrace to sign.
“Do you want to stay in tonight?” Bull signed. “I’ll understand. We can go out another night.”
Ben’s eyebrows twitched. He looked away as if debating the question. Seconds later, he met Bull’s gaze and shook his head. “I can’t change what happened. I think…I knew it was coming. But it still hurts. If I stay, it’s all I’ll think about.” He hesitated, worry creeping into his gaze. “Can we still go out? Even if it’s just for a little while. Is that okay?”
Bull nodded. “Anything you want.”
Ben chewed his lip, obviously battling with something. He glanced up and made eye contact. Then, with a jerky step forward, Ben slid his arms around Bull’s midsection and rested his head on Bull’s shoulder.
Closing his eyes, Bull wrapped his arms around Ben and lowered his face into his dark hair, wanting to suffocate his senses with this man. He splayed his hand on Ben’s back, possessively, moaning when fingers tentatively touched the back of his neck. The power this man had over him was alarming. But not as alarming as his willingness to cave to his every whim.
They finally pulled out of the embrace. Peace filled Ben’s expression. He might be young and have moments when his innocence shone through like a bright light, but there were times when his resilience proved to be an equally powerful force.
“Are you ready to go?” Bull signed his question.
Ben nodded.
Seconds after Bull yelled up the stairs, three worried men appeared. Their response time left little doubt they had been eavesdropping. “We’re going out. I’ll have him back by eleven.”
Matt glanced over to Ben. “Are you okay?”
Ben nodded and gave him a weak smile before wrapping his arms around him in a hug. He released Matt and then embraced Julian. He stepped back and eyed Calvin hovering behind them. Barely a split second later, Calvin stepped forward.
“If you’re dishing out hugs, then I’m stealing one.”
Ben faintly laughed and threw his arms around Calvin’s shoulders.
Whether Ben realized it or not, these men had become his family. The same blood didn’t need to run through their veins to cement that bond and build something permanent. Ben would realize that in his own time.
Calvin peered over Ben’s shoulder at Bull, a silent expression of gratitude coloring his features.
Ben finally pulled away and walked over to Bull’s side. “Thank you,” he signed to the guys. He glanced up at Bull and smiled. The smile as bright and blinding as the sun breaking through the storm clouds.
Bull’s heart hammered, the pounding deepening when Ben grabbed his hand and held it tight.
Tonight, he had one mission. To keep that smile burning bright.
= ♥ =
His first time at the fair, Ben wanted to take it all in and didn’t know where to start. Spotting a place to sit in the corner, he grabbed Bull’s arms and beelined toward the bench. There were so many people to watch. Clusters of teenagers, families, friends, couples, even a group of students wearing matching T-shirts being herded by a handful of adults. He closed his eyes and tipped his head back. Taking a deep breath, he inhaled the odd mix of sweetness in the air coupled with grilled and fried food. Unusual, yet fitting for the madness surrounding him. He slowly opened his eyes and smiled at the flashing colored lights, twinkling in different rhythms and