Sweet and Wild - Carmen Jenner Page 0,37

touch you like I do? Worship your body the way I do?”

“No. No one ever has.”

“No one even came close?”

I shake my head and swallow hard, wishing he’d just pull me over the edge. Whatever this is—it ain’t making love—it’s making up for years of anger, resentment, sadness, and maybe even a little hate.

“Did you think of me at all when you said yes?”

I stop moving, tears instantly springing to my eyes. Colt releases my arms and yanks off the condom, discarding it on the nightstand. He strokes his hard dick as his fingers work inside me, faster, more expertly, until I’m clenching around him again, falling over the precipice into sensation, love, and desire, despite how my heart is breaking. He pumps his cock faster against his fist, and those grey eyes watch me possessively as he comes all over my pussy.

I wait until Colt is asleep and I carefully slip out of bed. It takes a minute to find my clothing and boots, and I quietly ease them on and exit his cabin. Outside, it’s freezing. There’s a soreness to my body, a languidness in my limbs that begs me to go back and snuggle into his bed, his warmth, but I can’t. We should not have done this. We should have had that talk we’ve been needing for the last twelve years now, and I can’t fall into bed with him again without talking out all the hurt we’ve been through. If I’d stayed a minute longer, I would have fallen into Colt’s arms and never left. I can’t do that. I don’t even know if he wants that, and as for me? Well, my life is in New York. Or at least, it was. I’m not sure where I’m supposed to be now.

When I’m home, there’s a part of me that feels like this is where I belong, amongst my family, in the arms of my first love, the boy next door. And when I’m in New York, I’m a girl from small-town Texas, who made a life, and a career in the big city. I’m more than just a farm girl, a rancher’s daughter, and a farmhand’s wife. Can I leave my life in New York for the only man I’ve ever truly loved? The bigger question on my mind is, will he ever forgive me for leaving him, or is he just content to punish me over and over for wasting twelve years of our lives?

CHAPTER NINETEEN

Colt

I roll over and reach out for Lemon. My hands come up empty, and as I open my eyes and stare at her side of the bed—vacant—I start to wonder if maybe I dreamed the entire thing. Then I sit up and see her ruined panties discarded on my wooden floors and I flop back on the mattress. She ran out on me. Again.

I shake my head and tug my hands through my hair, replaying everything I did to her last night, everything I said.

I was a cold asshole, and I’m not sure I know any other way to be around her now. It ruined me when she left, and I still fucking love every little thing about her. But I have to harden my heart against the onslaught of Lemon Winchester. Because if I thought her leaving me at twenty-two-years old ruined me, her leaving after I’ve loved her and lost her, and finally got her back again, is going to destroy me completely.

I shower and dress before heading out to the ranch house.

Lemon isn’t at breakfast when I walk in, which should give me time to eat without being on edge, but I am. When she scurries down the stairs and sees me watching her in those tight jeans and plaid button up, she turns for the coffee pot, and I get up and rinse my plate in the sink right by her.

“Mornin’,” she says quietly over her cup.

I don’t respond, and she glances nervously in my direction. I reach around her and grab the pot. “You don’t mind if I have some of this, right?”

Her brow creases. “No. Of course not. Go right ahead.”

“Well thanks, darlin’. Don’t mind if I do.”

She leans in and murmurs, “Is there something wrong?”

“Nope. Why would anything be wrong?”

“I just thought after last night … it …” She swallows, and I have this insane urge to wrap my hand around her delicate throat and stroke the tender flesh, but I can’t do that here in front of her brother and