Susan Mallery Page 0,131

same as convenient.”

“Yes, but they’re close enough. So what do we do? Tell me what makes you happy and I’ll do everything in my power to make that happen.”

“Is the reason you think I can’t stay here and still be Connor’s nanny while seeing you is because I’ll feel used?”

“Yes.”

She smiled. “Of course it is.”

She stared into his eyes and thought about the wonder of a man who had been through what he had with Iris and yet was still open and willing to get married again. She thought about how he respected what she wanted and was willing to do whatever it took to make her feel whole. Every day he’d shown her what a great guy he was. He loved her and he wanted to give her the world. She was in love with him and could easily imagine spending the rest of her life with him. What, exactly, was she waiting for?

“Marry me,” she said, resting her hands on his chest. “Marry me, Declan. Let me help with Connor, have babies with me, grow old with me.”

He whooped and grabbed her around the waist, lifting her into the air. As she eased back to the floor, she leaned into him and kissed him.

He kissed her back, then laughed. “Looks like we’re getting married. I should probably warn you I promised Connor a vacation this summer, and he wants to get a dog.”

“Sounds good to me.”

“You really want to have kids? Because I think that would be great.”

“I do want children,” she said. “With you.” She took his hand in hers. “We done talking?”

“We can be.”

She smiled. “Excellent. Your place or mine?”

“Mine is closer.”

“I like how you think.”

* * *

Time did not heal and Alec was pissed about it. Margot had been gone over a week and he was still missing her as much as he had the first day. Maybe more. The entire situation was ridiculous and frustrating and he had no idea what to do about it.

He went down to breakfast, determined that today he would eat something and that it wouldn’t sit like a rock in his stomach, only to find his mother already at the table. She had a cup of coffee in front of her and looked tired. For once she wasn’t wearing makeup, which made her look older than she usually did.

“Good morning, Mother. Are you feeling well?”

She smiled. “I’m not sick, if that’s what you’re asking.” She pointed to the carafe sitting out. “Get yourself some coffee. We need to talk.”

He didn’t like the sound of that, but knew there was no point in trying to avoid the conversation. She would simply stalk him until he was cornered. Better to get it over with and get on with his day.

When he was seated across from her, she looked at him.

“I’ll admit at first I thought what was happening was charming. You were falling in love with Margot and really coming out of your shell. I enjoyed seeing that side of you. I thought the change was permanent. But as you grew to care about her more, you started to worry about your new behaviors. What if you were turning into me?”

Alec couldn’t have moved if the building had caught fire. He considered himself self-contained, intelligent and relatively inscrutable. In a handful of sentences, his mother had laid him bare, exposing his deepest, darkest secrets as if she’d known all along. Which, apparently, she had.

“Before you tell me I’m wrong,” she continued, “you are in love with her. That’s the problem. Or do you want to argue about that?”

In love with Margot? He couldn’t—He wasn’t—Dammit all to hell, she was right.

He picked up his coffee. “Go on.”

“Alec, you have always been my first and greatest love. When I found out I was pregnant, I was so excited. I didn’t ever really want to get married, but I loved the idea of being a mother. I thought we would be a team. I wanted so much for you—mostly that you would be happy.”

“I have been happy. And we were a team.” Bianca had her flaws, but when he’d been young, she’d looked out for him, had cared for him. She might not have believed in rules, but she had believed in love. Later, things had gotten complicated, but not while he’d been a kid.

“Alec, you’ll never turn into me. You don’t have to worry about that.” Her gaze was steady. “You can’t. Margot was right—there is a secret from my past, one I’ve