Susan Mallery Page 0,114

he doesn’t love me back? What if he does, but he doesn’t want to admit it? What if he laughs?”

Sunshine reached for another chip.

Margot glared at her. “This is where you offer advice.”

“Hey, I’m not good at relationships. I mean I’m totally team Margot and I wish you the best, but it’s not like I have experience making things work. I usually find a guy, sleep with him and then if he invites me to fly around the world, I disrupt my life for the next six or eight weeks, get dumped or leave, then start all over again. Do you really want me telling you what to do when it comes to your love life?”

“I guess not.” Margot sighed. “I blame our mother.”

“I do, too, but seeing as she died and, before that, neither of us had seen her since we were toddlers, it’s not particularly helpful. Although you should probably tell Alec you love him.”

“Why?”

“Because falling for someone who isn’t Dietrich is a really big step and acknowledging your feelings sends a message to the universe.”

“I’d rather win his heart,” she muttered, then tilted her head. “Wait. Should I want to win his heart? Or should he offer his heart? Are there rules for any of this?”

“Again, asking the wrong person.”

“We’re hopeless,” Margot said with a sigh.

“Yes, but we look good and seriously, what else matters?”

Chapter Twenty-Four

The following Saturday morning, Sunshine headed for Santa Monica. It was early—barely after seven. Morning fog had rolled in so she knew the beach would be deserted and the sidewalks empty. No one purposefully went to the beach on a foggy morning—except her.

She had a plan—she was going to have breakfast at a cute little coffee shop she’d always liked, read the paper, then walk on the beach. Today was going to be about relaxing and recharging. Not that her schedule was especially difficult, but a little “me time” was always welcome. Plus, Declan was leaving on a business trip and would be gone about ten days. While he was away, she would be on Connor duty 24-7.

She exited the freeway and quickly found parking. She walked into the coffee shop and was immediately seated at a small table by the window. She glanced at the menu to see if it was as she remembered and saw nothing had changed. Her California Scramble was still front and center. The kids’ section was also the same.

Her gaze dropped to the smiling cartoon zoo animals in the margin and lingered on the second item from the bottom: Pancake-orama. The twins had always loved that breakfast, one with blueberries and one with bananas. How many Sunday mornings had she and the twins walked over to have breakfast while their parents slept in? Parents with high-powered careers and little time for or interest in their daughters.

Sunshine had done her best with the girls, right up until she met a guy on a motorcycle who had offered to take her to Texas and teach her to rope a steer. A couple of drinks, a good time in bed and before she’d thought things through, she’d quit her job and she’d been gone.

She’d left with almost no warning, texting Elle, the twins’ mother, who’d been in Paris at the time. Or was it Rome? Their father had called to scream at her that he couldn’t get out of a meeting to go get his daughters and that he had plans for the night. He’d threatened to sue her. Each of the girls had texted to ask where she was and when the guilt had gotten too bad, she’d dumped the phone in a trash can in Arizona and had never looked back.

Sunshine realized she hadn’t anticipated the memories joining her for breakfast. She probably should have thought that through before driving down here. Or maybe she’d subconsciously known what would happen and had accepted she had to deal with her past, the ugly moments that she couldn’t atone for. She’d been wrong to leave the way she had. Not just the twins but the other kids she’d looked after. She’d left Texas for London nearly a year after she’d left Santa Monica for Texas. All that might be behind her, but the shattered lives still bore scars.

She realized she couldn’t stay for breakfast. Not now. She was too embarrassed, too ashamed. She should have picked a different beach and a different coffee shop. She collected her bag and as she stood, she came face-to-face with a furious