most of all, I’m doing it for Steven because he would have loved it.
December 14, 2013
After my first final, Will and I walk out together. I asked if he’d like to go to lunch. The look on his face told me I might be leading him on but I need to let him down as gently as possible. I still want to be friends with him but nothing more.
We grab our lunches and take a seat at one of the empty tables. I tap my straw on the table pushing the paper back on it. I stick it in my cup and take a sip.
Will is watching my every move. He reminds me of a skittish cat. He goes to take a bite out of his sandwich and it just falls into his lap. It’s like the thing weighs a ton and he couldn’t hold it up anymore. I laugh because I can’t help it.
“Damn,” Will mutters. He stands and brushes the lettuce and tomato off his pants. The mayo from his sandwich just so happens to land right on his crotch. It just makes the whole situation funnier. I can’t even raise my hand to give him a napkin because I’m laughing so hard.
Finally, after five minutes of continuous laughing I calm down enough to hand Will my extra napkins.
I wipe under my eyes. “You okay?”
Will looks my direction and smiles. “I love hearing your laugh.”
I blush and look away. This is going to be a harder let down then I realized.
Will sits and tries his soda and I can see he’s holding it pretty tight since his fingertips are white. “So,” he starts as I look past his shoulder. “How did you do on the final?”
I take a deep breath. The longer I wait the harder it’s going to be. “Will,” I clear my throat. “I didn’t bring you to lunch to talk about finals.”
“Uh-huh,” he says like he already knows what I’m about to say.
“I’m just going to come out and say it. I don’t want to hurt your feelings but I need to make sure we’re on the same page.” I take a deep breath again. “We can only be friends, Will. It’s all I can offer. I know we shared that lap dance and it was…good and all, but that’s where it has to stop. It can’t happen again. And I’m sorry about your glasses too.”
I brace myself not knowing where this is going to go.
Will takes another sip of his soda before setting it down. “I understand. I figured after that awkward dance that we were better off as friends. Honestly.”
I sigh in relief. I decide to joke around and keep the mood light with us. “You know you like my moves,” I say, laughing.
He throws his napkin at me. “Yeah, you’re right. I think we should try again.”
This time I throw the napkin back at Will and groan. “Will.”
He holds his hands up in surrender. “Just kidding,” he smirks. “Thanks for talking to me about this though and not just avoiding me. I understand that your heart belongs to Landon.
“My girl gave you a lap dance?” Landon says scaring the shit out of the both of us.
Will’s eyes are as big as saucers. He’s looking all around until Landon steps out from behind him with a smirk of his own on his gorgeous face.
“I…uh…” Will stammers.
Landon puts a hand on his shoulder and squeezes. “Relax, man.” Will doesn’t. “Just keep your hands off my girl from this point on and we’ll be okay. Got it?”
I thought Landon would be pissed if he found out about the lap dance. I mean it wouldn’t have been right. His lips have touched their fair share of half the girls here on campus.
Will nods.
The rest of lunch went well. Landon and Will were actually joking around with each other by the end of it.
I’m glad that’s over with.
***
Landon and I are hanging out in my room after our last class of the day. He’s got his head in my lap and I’m running my hands through his hair.
Landon is restless. “I’ve got something I need to talk to you about.”
I nod and keep running my hands in his hair. “I’m definitely suspended and I have to attend drug and alcohol classes. It’s mandatory.”
Deep down I knew this would happen. Landon has been struggling for so long it was only a matter of time before he cracked.
“I also lost my scholarship. I know I should have told you