I pick up my bag and throw it over my shoulder, “I’ve got stuff to do.”
When I walk past Cash I catch him say, “I bet you do.” But I don’t stop. No good will come of it if I do. He doesn’t realize I’m on the verge of losing it.
I ride around in my truck for what feels like forever waiting for the parking lot to clear before heading back. The weed in my bag and the whiskey under my seat are taunting me. Finally feeling like I couldn’t wait another second, I pull into my normal parking spot and reach for the whiskey.
I drink it down until my throat feels like it’s on fire. I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand and then do it all over again. The voices are still taunting me but they aren’t as loud. They aren’t screams like most of the time, muffled to only whispers.
I’m smoking when the familiar tap on my window comes. I don’t bother rolling my window down this time, I just simply hit the unlock button so Madison can climb in.
“Hey.”
I nod, “Hey.”
She reaches into her purse and pulls out what looks to be cocaine. “You want some?”
I stare at her wondering when the hell she got in so deep. She isn’t the Madison I once knew, not the one who liked to sit back and relax. Smoke a little weed and get drunk, now she’s into the heavy shit. “You’re in too deep, Madison.”
She laughs bitterly, “You’re one to talk, Landon.” Madison reaches for a mirror from her purse and dumps some powder on it. Then she uses a credit card and cuts two straight lines. I shake my head and look away as she snorts it. This is some fucked up shit. What’s worse is that I’m not doing anything to stop it.
Madison goes quiet, I glance in her direction. She’s drumming her fingers on her legs, she’s blinking a mile a minute and then her legs start bouncing causing the truck to sway slightly.
“What’s that?” I say pointing to the bruise on her arm.
She looks down quickly to what I’m pointing at then her eyes go crazy looking all around but never at me. “Nothing.”
“Doesn’t look like nothing.” She shifts in her seat. “What if Cash finds out?”
She finally meets my eyes for just a second. “He’s not going to.”
I lean my head back against the seat wishing I had some more weed to deal with this shit. “What are you doing with Cash anyway, Madison?”
She’s quiet, I don’t think she’s going to answer. She digs around in her purse and pulls out a water bottle. “You should talk, Landon. You should think about what you’re doing with Macy.”
I huff, “That’s too much work.”
Chapter Two
September 24, 2013
Macy
“Labs are due at the start of the next class.” Professor Smith yells above the noise of the students shuffling out of class.
I’m last to leave class and when I step out into the hall I run directly into Alexa. The world around me freezes and I get hit with a wave of nausea. I’ve barely seen or spoken to her in these last three years. She hates me, she hates all of us, and I don’t blame her. I’d hate the world if my forever after was taken from me too.
“Uh…Hey.” I stumble over my words.
Alexa looks down and fidgets with her fingers. She looks horrible and I hate that. She doesn’t deserve to look like this. She used to be full of curves, gorgeous red hair, pale skin with freckles sprinkled over the top of her nose and the prettiest pale green eyes I’ve ever seen. Now, she’s lost so much weight, she’s skin and bones, her clothes hang off of her. She looks like the twelve year-old Alexa was before she hit puberty. She’s living through hell and my heart breaks for her.
I never see her with anyone. I loved her, still do, she’s like a sister to me but yet I never have the balls to face her. To go to her and demand she starts living again. To keep her head held high like Steven would want her to but who the hell am I to say these things to her when I can’t do the same. I’m a coward. I’m lost and trying to find my way too.
“How are you doing?” I try asking a question hoping I get some kind of response.