a document in her hand. ‘Then Sinead will come forward and unveil the plaque.’ She gestures at a small pair of red velvet curtains, positioned on the wall to the side of the double doors. There are two tasselled cords hanging down, with a pink ribbon tied on one.
‘What’s the ribbon for?’ I ask curiously.
‘So that Sinead knows which tassel to pull,’ explains Esme. ‘It’s a bit of a confusing system. Maybe you could be Sinead and we can check it all works?’
‘Of course.’ I head over to the curtains, then glance at Cedric, to make sure he’s listening. ‘But first, Esme, I want to thank you. You’ve organized every detail of this event so meticulously. You’ve been beyond thorough.’
‘Well.’ Esme flushes modestly. ‘You know. I think I’ve planned for everything …’
‘You certainly have.’ I reach for the tassel. ‘OK, pretend I’m Sinead. I now pronounce this scanner suite open!’
I tug on the tassel with the ribbon, the red velvet curtains swish open and we all stare at … nothing.
It’s bare wall. What?
I glance at Esme, and she’s staring at the wall with horrified, bulging eyes. I swish the curtains back and forth as though the plaque might somehow be hiding – but there’s nothing there.
‘It’s going to be a little tricky for Sinead Brook to unveil a non-existent plaque,’ says Mummy in that sweet, pointed way she has when she wants.
‘Esme!’ barks Cedric. ‘Where’s the plaque?’
‘I don’t know!’ whispers Esme, staring at the wall as though it’s a mirage. ‘It should be there. Maintenance were supposed to …’ She jabs feverishly at her phone. ‘Trev? It’s Esme. Trev, where’s the plaque? The plaque! For the new scanner suite! Well, it was supposed to be here this morning. They’re going to unveil it. Yes! Yes, you did know that!’ Her voice rises almost to a shriek. Then, with a weird over-calm air, she puts her phone away and turns to the rest of us. ‘They’re looking for it.’
‘Looking for it?’ expostulates Cedric. ‘What time does the ceremony begin?’
‘Twenty minutes.’ Esme gulps. Her face has turned a kind of pale green and I feel incredibly sorry for her, although at the same time – hello? Didn’t it even occur to her to check the plaque?
‘What happens if they can’t find it?’ snaps Cedric. ‘Esme, we have Sinead Brook coming to unveil this plaque, do you realize?’
‘Um … um …’ Esme swallows desperately. ‘We could … make a temporary one?’
‘A temporary one?’ he bellows. ‘With what, a Sharpie and some cardboard?’
‘Sylvie!’ Dan’s voice greets me, and I see him approaching with Tessa, Anna and his parents. There’s a general greeting as we all kiss each other and exclaim over how long it’s been. Dan’s mother Sue has clearly been to the hairdresser for the occasion and her hair looks lovely – all auburn and shiny. Meanwhile Dan’s dad Neville is surveying everything with that measured look he has. When he was an accountant he audited big companies and he’s still in the habit of assessing. Everywhere he goes, he hangs back, looks around and gauges things before he proceeds. I can see him doing it now. He’s eyeing up the sign with Daddy’s name on it. He’s looking at the podium, and the velvet curtains, and now Cedric, who is berating Esme in the corner.
‘Something up?’ he says at last.
‘Bit of a drama,’ I say. ‘Let’s get out of the way for a few moments.’ As we walk to the green room, it occurs to me again that Sue and Neville have been married for thirty-eight years. And I know Dan says they’re ‘hardly a good example’, and I know they went through that dicey patch … but they’re together, aren’t they? They must be doing something right. Maybe we can learn from them.
But, oh God.
I’d forgotten. I always forget. The atmosphere of Dan’s parents. It’s like a crackly, invisible veil of just … tension. It’s not that they don’t smile and laugh and make jokes. But everything is so barbed. There are so many little flashes of resentment and simmering fury. It’s exhausting. They’re talking about their recent trip to Switzerland, which you’d think would be innocuous enough. But, no.
‘Then we got out at Lausanne,’ Neville is saying to Tessa (as though Tessa has the first idea what Lausanne is), ‘and we started climbing the mountain, but then Granny Sue suddenly changed her mind. So that was a shame, wasn’t it? Grandpa had to go up all alone.’