adventurous! It made him think. And that’s what he thought of! His ex!’
‘Ah.’ Tilda pulls a wry, comical expression. ‘Well, yes. Maybe that wasn’t such a wild idea. You don’t want husbands to start thinking.’
‘You warned me,’ I say miserably. ‘You said, “Surprises have a bad habit of going wrong.” Well, you were right.’
‘Sylvie, I didn’t mean it!’ says Tilda in dismay. ‘And you mustn’t worry. Look at the facts. Dan loves you and you had great sex. A lot of couples would die to be having great sex,’ she adds pointedly.
‘Yes, but even the sex …’ I bite my lip and glance towards my front door again.
‘What?’ Tilda leans forward, looking fascinated, and I hesitate. I’m not really one for spilling intimate details. But since the boudoir shoot, there doesn’t seem any point in being coy with Tilda.
‘Well,’ I say, my voice almost a whisper. ‘It was super hot, but it was … different. He was different. At the time, I thought: Great, I’m turning him on. But now I’m thinking: Was it the memory of her?’ I give a little shudder. ‘Was it all about her?’
‘I’m sure it wasn’t—’
‘I said I wanted a surprise,’ I cut her off in agitation. ‘Well, what if his “surprise” is, he goes and shags someone else?’
‘Enough!’ says Tilda briskly, putting a hand on my arm. ‘Sylvie, you’re overreacting. All Dan’s actually done is google his ex. If you ask me, he’ll never mention her again. In a month, he’ll have forgotten her.’
‘You really think so?’
‘I’m positive. What’s her name?’ Tilda adds casually.
‘Mary.’
‘Well, there you go.’ Tilda rolls her eyes. ‘He’s never going to be unfaithful with someone called Mary.’
I can’t help laughing. Tilda has a knack of cheering me up, whatever the situation.
‘How are you two getting on otherwise?’ she queries.
‘Oh, you know.’ I shrug. ‘Up and down …’ But there’s something quizzical in her expression which makes me add, ‘Did you hear me yelling at him this morning?’
‘Hard to miss it.’ Tilda’s mouth is clamped together as though she’s trying not to smile. Or laugh.
Great. So Dan and I really are the resident street soap opera.
‘You’ll be fine.’ Tilda pats me on the hand. ‘But promise me one thing. No more surprises.’
She doesn’t add ‘I told you so’, but it’s sitting there, unspoken in the air. And she did.
‘Don’t worry,’ I say in heartfelt tones. ‘I’m totally over surprises. Totally.’
I’ve never met Esme in person and for some reason I’m expecting someone small and thin, in a slimline jacket and heels. But the girl waiting for me at the New London Hospital is large and fair, and wearing endearingly childish clothes – a skirt covered in a sheep print and rubber-soled Mary Janes. She has one of those broad, well-structured faces which look naturally cheerful, but has a giveaway furrowed brow.
‘I think I’ve planned for everything,’ she says about five times as we walk through the lobby. ‘So, the green room area has got coffee, tea, water, snacks …’ She counts off on her fingers. ‘Biscuits … croissants … Oh, fizzy water, of course …’
I bite my lip, wanting to laugh. We’re talking about a small seating area which we’ll use for half an hour, if that. Not a polar expedition.
‘That’s very kind,’ I say.
‘And your husband’s on his way?’ She blinks anxiously at me. ‘Because we do have a parking space reserved for him.’
‘Thank you. Yes, he’s bringing our girls and his own parents.’
Dan’s parents suddenly decided they wanted to come to this event, about three days ago. Dan mentioned it to his mother on the phone and apparently she got all prickly and wondered why she and Neville hadn’t been asked? Were they not considered part of the extended family? Had it not occurred to Dan that they might like to pay their respects, too? (Which is weird, because they never got on with Daddy when he was alive.) Dan looked all beleaguered and I could hear him saying, ‘Mum, it’s not … No, it’s not a party … I mean, I never thought you’d want to come down from Leicester … I mean, of course you can come. We’d love you to!’
Dan’s parents can be a bit tricky. Although to be fair, my mother can be tricky, too. I expect the twins think Dan and I are tricky. In fact, I suppose all people are tricky, full stop. Sometimes I wonder how we all get anything done as a human race, there are so many misunderstandings and sore