‘Awesome.’ Karen nods and puts the candlestick down. ‘So, what exactly is happening today?’
She sounds a bit puzzled, and I don’t blame her. We don’t normally employ her on Saturdays, nor do I normally send her texts beginning Don’t tell Dan I’m texting you!!
‘I wanted to give Dan a surprise,’ I explain. ‘Take him out somewhere special.’
‘Right.’ Karen opens her mouth as though to say something – then closes it again. ‘Right. Awesome.’
‘So, if you could give the girls lunch, take them to ballet and then maybe the park? We’ll be back at fourish.’
‘OK,’ says Karen slowly. Again, she looks as though she wants to say something more, but isn’t sure where to start. She isn’t going to ask for a change in hours or something, is she? Because I really don’t have time.
‘Anyway!’ I say briskly. ‘I must go and get ready. Thanks, Karen!’
I take a quick shower before dressing in capri pants and my new cardigan. Sure enough, a minicab soon pulls up outside our house, and I feel a tweak of glee. Dan will be so surprised! In fact, I’m pretty sure that’s him I can hear, arriving home. I’d better get a move on.
It only takes me four minutes to do my make-up and a minute more to put my hair in a knot. I hurry downstairs and pause halfway down, glancing through the landing window. To my surprise, there’s a second cab parked next to the first one.
Two?
Oh my God. Please don’t say …
As I’m staring at the cabs, Dan comes out of the sitting room. He’s wearing a smart blue shirt and linen jacket and his eyes are gleaming.
‘You look lovely!’ he says. ‘Which is good news, because … drum roll … we’re not having pasta at home!’
‘Dan,’ I say slowly. ‘Have you done something? Because I’ve done something, too.’
‘What do you mean?’ Dan says, puzzled.
‘Look outside,’ I say, coming all the way down the stairs. Dan opens the front door and I see him blink at the sight of the two cabs. I’m pretty sure they both come from Asis Taxis, the firm we always use.
‘What the hell?’
‘One of them’s mine,’ I say. ‘Don’t tell me the other one’s yours. Have we both organized a treat?’
‘But …’ Dan is staring at the cabs, looking totally scrubcious, his brow furrowed. ‘But I was organizing lunch,’ he says at last.
‘No you weren’t, I was!’ I retort, almost crossly. ‘It was a surprise. I ordered the cab, I booked Karen …’
‘I booked Karen too!’ says Dan, hotly. ‘I booked her days ago.’
‘You both booked me!’ Karen’s voice comes from behind and the two of us swivel round. She’s gazing at the pair of us and seems a bit freaked out. ‘You both sent me these texts, saying could I work on Saturday and “keep it secret”. I didn’t know what was going on. So I thought I’d just turn up and … see.’
‘Right,’ I say. ‘Fair enough.’
We should have known this would happen. We should have made a plan. Only then it wouldn’t have been a surprise.
‘Well, we obviously can’t do both …’ Dan suddenly focuses on me. ‘What’s your surprise?’
‘I’m not telling you! It’s a surprise.’
‘Well, I’m not telling you mine,’ he says adamantly. ‘It would ruin it.’
‘Well.’ I fold my arms, equally adamant.
‘So what do we do? Toss a coin?’
‘I’m not tossing a coin!’ I retort. ‘I think we should just do my surprise. It’s really good. We can do yours another day.’
‘No we can’t!’ Dan seems offended. ‘What, you’re assuming your idea is better than mine?’
‘Tickets to Tim Wender’s sold-out lunchtime event at the Barbican Comedy Festival?’ I want to say. ‘Our favourite stand-up comedian and lunch? You think you can beat that?’
But obviously I have manners, so I don’t. I just give him a little smile and shrug and say, ‘Mine’s pretty good.’
‘Well, so’s mine.’ Dan glares at me.
‘Let me decide!’ suggests Karen suddenly. ‘You tell me the plans and I’ll decide which one you should go with.’
What? That’s a stupid idea.
‘Great idea!’ says Dan. ‘I’ll go first.’ And there’s something about his ebullient demeanour that makes me wonder for the first time: What’s he planned? ‘We’ll go into the sitting room,’ he adds to Karen, ‘and I’ll pitch you my idea there, where Sylvie can’t hear. No listening at the door!’ he adds to me.
Pitch? What is this, Dragon’s bloody Den?
As he disappears into the sitting room with Karen, I shoot him a mistrustful look. Then I