A Surprise Christmas Wedding - Phillipa Ashley Page 0,42

home with you.’

‘Wait, Jay. I’m sorry for everything,’ Ben said, with ragged desperation. ‘Mum and Dad are heartbroken over what’s happened. They want us to make it up. I wish I could undo the past but I can’t. We need to move on.’

‘That’s a lie about wishing you could undo the past. You don’t because without the past, you wouldn’t have Seb.’ He turned to Lottie again. ‘Please can we go? I’m done here.’

Ben’s frustration spilled out. ‘This is ridiculous, Jay. It’s been a year now …’

Jay ignored him, throwing up a wall that Ben’s pleas bounced off. If he refused to engage, he couldn’t be hurt any more.

‘OK, Jay. Be like that. Blank me. I tried my best!’

With Ben’s words ringing in his ears, Jay focused on Lottie. ‘I am so sorry about that. I think we should leave before we have another row.’

She glanced behind. ‘Don’t worry. Ben’s getting into his car.’

Jay nodded, relief flooding him, though at the same time a creeping sense of despair.

‘Thanks for bringing my coat out and offering to keep me company. I expect there’ll be talk at work about me rushing out and us leaving together. People love to gossip.’

She shrugged, her jaw set determinedly. ‘Let them. It’ll make a change for me to create some gossip.’

For the first time since Jay had spotted Ben, he smiled. Lottie had shot up even further in his estimation. ‘OK. Let’s get back and I’ll tell you about it.’

After Lottie had sent her text, they spent most of the walk in silence, Jay only speaking from time to time to make sure Lottie was OK as they only had one torch between them and his phone battery had died. After they reached Firholme, he let Lottie into his cottage, dismayed at the mess. Then, again, he hadn’t been expecting visitors. Trevor was delighted to have company and gave them a greeting of licks, barks and tail wagging, before settling down.

Jay shifted his guitar and several well-chewed dog toys from the sofa and swept up a pile of forestry magazines from the chair. ‘Sorry. I’m not used to entertaining.’

‘Don’t worry.’ She sat on the sofa, with a look of amusement.

‘Trevor’s shedding a bit. I should vacuum more often,’ he said, seeing dog hair clinging to Lottie’s jeans. He felt agitated and restless.

She laughed. ‘It’s fine.’ Trevor lay at her feet with a drool-covered chew between his paws.

Jay took the armchair opposite her. ‘He likes you,’ he said. ‘Sorry, there’s dog hair on your jeans.’

‘Don’t worry. I like dogs.’ She smiled at Trevor. ‘Why don’t you tell me about this business with Ben?’

He looked at her, his tongue frozen for a moment. There was no easy way to say what had happened, or to explain the level of hurt and betrayal he still felt, but he had to tell someone. He took a breath.

‘The reason Ben and I don’t get on is because he got my partner pregnant and let me believe I was the father.’

‘Oh my God. That’s awful!’

‘It was a one-night stand, they said at the time, but I’ve since found out they’d been having an affair for a while. It was while I’d been on a training course in Scotland for a couple of weeks. When I got back, I had flu after working out in the cold and I was wiped out for another fortnight.’

‘Well, at first, I thought the baby had been conceived before I went away. Nadia told me it was due at the end of the summer. She’d been nervous and stressed, but I put that down to the shock of learning she was going to be a parent. God knows, it was daunting enough for me but I was still ecstatic. Me, a father. It was incredible …’

Trevor had found his way next to Jay, and licked his fingers. Maybe the dog could sense he was upset. Lottie didn’t say anything, just waited for him to go on. She was a good listener … maybe too good, thought Jay, realising that he was pouring out his woes against all his resolve to keep his past quiet.

Too late now.

‘Turns out it really was unbelievable because at the six-week scan, the nurse told us the baby was actually ten weeks,’ he said. ‘Nadia had been twitchy for days before, trying to persuade me I didn’t need to come with her. Saying it was so close to Christmas and wasn’t I busy at work. Now I know why. She burst into tears