A Surprise Christmas Wedding - Phillipa Ashley Page 0,114

feels. Oh, Lottie …’

‘There was another reason why I didn’t want anyone to know what had really happened between Connor and me. I did phone Steph to break the news, but I never got to tell her and I don’t regret that. She’d only received her diagnosis that day. She didn’t need any extra worry about me, so I lied and said it was a mutual decision and that I was fine with it.’

‘Lottie, Lottie …’ he kept saying, rubbing her hand. ‘I’m so sorry for what you’ve been through.’

She was on the verge of tears. ‘You’re a good man, Jay, and you’re the only person in the world who knows all the details, apart from Connor and me. You must promise me that things will stay that way.’

‘Of course I will, but the man’s more of an arse that I even dreamed. How have you been able to arrange the man’s wedding, after what he did to you?’

‘Gritted my teeth and got on with it, but … when he walked in, I was shocked. I was – jealous. I did think “what if” and I thought, for a few weeks, that I might still be in love with him. Gradually I realised I wasn’t and that our time had gone – and most of all, that I didn’t want our time to come again. Connor wasn’t the man I’d once loved any more. He hadn’t changed. I had … and I’d met you.’

His eyes shone with something like delight. She’d thought he was handsome from the start, but now he was literally making her go weak at the knees. She’d given up all hope of that ever happening to her – and yet it was. She also knew that it was a sincere, deep-rooted feeling, from a man whose heart wasn’t given lightly.

There were no guarantees in life, but she was as sure as she could be that, this time, this love would not be snatched away again.

The chair scraped as he rose from the table.

‘Please,’ he said, reaching out his hand.

She allowed him to pull her to her feet, draw her into his arms and hold her close. ‘Last Christmas, I vowed I’d never trust someone, or love someone, or risk my heart ever again. And yet …’ He held her tighter. ‘Here you are, against all the odds. I think I’ve loved you for a long time now, but I refused to allow myself to accept it. I built my walls higher and higher and tried to keep you out. I gave myself excuses, I searched for any reason not to trust you or open myself up again.’

He stroked her hair.

‘Jay. I wish I’d been honest with you from the start.’

‘You had no obligation to. I was so … thorny. Why would you share anything with me at all? Still, I couldn’t keep you out or fight against how I feel for you.’

She had to smile. ‘You make me sound like some kind of invader, crashing into your life.’

He laughed. ‘No, you’ve done nothing – nothing except be you. And being you is more than enough and way more than I deserve.’ He held her face in his hands. ‘Can we start again?’

‘I’d rather build on what we have.’

She wasn’t sure who kissed who, only that it was the deepest, sweetest kiss she wanted to last forever. A little breathless afterwards, she said, ‘I don’t think there’s any point you going all that way home in this terrible weather, is there?’

Jay nodded enthusiastically. ‘No, I agree.’

She nodded her head. ‘It might be safer for us to huddle together for warmth on my sofa before you venture outside.’

The next morning was Tuesday and Lottie was awake early. With Jay, all her worries had been set aside for a few hours. However, now, her thoughts were all for Steph.

‘I’m afraid I have to go.’

‘Work?’

‘No. It’s Steph. She’s getting the results of her scan today and I promised I’d go with her to see the consultant. We’re hoping it shows the all clear.’

Jay held her. ‘I hope so too. Please let me know how it goes?’

‘I will. What will you do today?’

‘Me?’ He smiled. ‘Oh, I think I’ll find something.’

With that mysterious statement, and another kiss, he let her go.

While she drove to pick up Steph, Lottie debated with herself whether to tell her sister she and Jay had finally got together. On the one hand it would distract her sister, on the other, was it something that should wait