of white feathers that lazily drifted down from a tall maple tree just on the other side of the wall. Occasionally a feather floated onto the courtyard and was struck by the red light of the laser that spelled out “Sharon and Clifton,” imbuing the white feathers with an eerie, bloody-looking tinge.
Shocked, Sharon gave up on her vocalizing and walked the rest of the way down the aisle with her father to the sound of the instrumental accompaniment of the song.
Reverend Biggs tried to get things back on track. He began his homily with a brief reference to the circle of life. Then he artfully segued into his prepared speech.
But, like so many things that day, the reverend’s remarks went unfinished. Not long after Reverend Biggs began speaking, the big oak doors creaked open once again. All of the guests turned their faces toward the back, hoping they might feel the sweet breath of cool air escaping from the indoors for a moment. No one got any relief from the heat, but they did get another look at the pink cloud. Then they saw four uniformed policemen step through the fog and onto the brick path. The policemen appeared to be embarrassed when the doors shut behind them and they realized that hundreds of wedding guests sat staring at them. The policemen moved off to one side, trying to make themselves less conspicuous. But they’d been seen, and their effect was immediate.
One of the groomsmen shouted, “It’s the cops, man!” Then he and the unsavory-looking character next to him took off running. The groomsmen leaped over shrubs and bushes, finally escaping the courtyard through an emergency exit. Opening that door activated an alarm, and the thick air was filled with shrill screeching. Clarice turned toward her friends and said, “I don’t know about you, but I prefer this to the singing.” Odette and Barbara Jean nodded in agreement.
The police didn’t make a move to pursue the groomsmen. They stared directly at the groom. Clifton Abrams responded to their attention by shoving Reverend Biggs out of his way and running through the tea roses and across a perennials bed. He made a dash for a clematis-covered trellis that stood against an outer wall. Once there, he began to climb. The police chased after him. They grabbed him by his ankles before he could make it over the wall and wrestled him down into a patch of black-eyed Susans.
Florence Abrams let out a loud cry and fainted. She crumpled to the ground so that, once again, all that could be seen of her was her feet sticking out of the phlox bed. Clarice said, “You’re right, Odette, those really are cute shoes.”
The policemen handcuffed Clifton and carried him out. Sharon followed them, howling, “Clifton! Clifton!”
Little Latricia skipped along after Sharon, tossing green petals high into the air.
Odette said, “They really should get that child some help.”
Veronica let loose a stream of obscenities the likes of which none of the Supremes had heard since Odette’s mother passed. Veronica cornered Minnie McIntyre near the bridal arch and made quite a scene shouting about the faulty information her oracle had provided. She yelled, “Where’s my perfect day, dammit?!” Veronica’s husband and daughters had to restrain her while Minnie escaped, running into the pink cloud after the cops, the groom, the bride, and the flower girl.
Rather than stick around Garden Hills for canapés and quiet gossip, Odette, Barbara Jean, and Clarice decided to adjourn to the All-You-Can-Eat for ribs and loud gossip. They stuck around just long enough for James to put on his law enforcement hat and get the lowdown from one of the cops who had arrested Clifton. Then they walked to their cars in silence, each of them trying to digest what they had just witnessed.
They were in the parking lot when Barbara Jean interrupted the quiet that had fallen over the group, saying, “Well, that just goes to show you what happens when you don’t have a church wedding. It was bound to end badly.”
Clarice said, “No, that’s what happens when you’re foolish enough to listen to Minnie McIntyre’s advice.”
James said, “No, that shows you what happens when the groom is dumb enough to mail a wedding invitation to his pissed-off ex-girlfriend when she knows he has outstanding felony warrants for drug possession and grand larceny in Louisville. The detective said some girl named Cherokee walked into the police station last night waving the invitation in the air and saying, ‘If you’d