or just another run-of-the-mill rundown. I personally am not psyched to hear that an infestation of pissed-off power-having goons are plotting against Warrior Nation, but maybe that’s because I usually just read about this stuff and don’t experience it in real life. Maybe to everyone else, this is just a typical day. But she runs off before I can get to her, with Vaporizer hot on her trail.
A soft hand touches my elbow, and all my arm hairs stand at attention. “Hey, can I talk to you?” Joy asks, and I wonder how one simple touch can send a jolt of electricity through me. I nod, not wanting her fingers to leave my skin. “Not here, though,” she adds, worry creasing her forehead. Blond hair swishes back and forth across her baby-blue suit as she looks for a safe space. Finally, she ducks into a nearby supply closet, shutting the door behind us. It’s a tight space, and we’re so close, I can feel her panicked breath. “Are you okay?” she asks me.
She’s shaking, and not in a “we’re so close we could start making out” kind of way. Even in the near dark, I see worry swirling in her eyes. “Yeah…are you?”
Her head hangs heavy, moving rapidly back and forth. “No, no I’m not. Sorry if this is, like, not a heroic thing to say, but I was freaking terrified during that fight, and I cannot. Calm. Down.” She holds her vibrating hand out to me. “See? What is that? It won’t stop!”
I lower her palm, lacing my fingers with hers to give her something to hold on to. “Hey, it’s okay. You’re just riled up. I was scared too—”
“But you were the hostage! You’re supposed to be scared. I’m the freaking hero! I can’t be more afraid than the people I’m trying to save!”
I think of her face when she entered the warehouse; even from behind a mask, it was clear she was frightened. While the others rushed into battle, instincts taking over, Joy held back, paralyzed in the doorway. “It was your first real fight,” I remind her. “I’m sure it will get easier.”
Her lips tremble. “But that’s the thing—I have to do it again! And again and again…like every day. How? How am I going to do this?” Her voice quivers as she turns away from me, hiding her tears. I scroll through my mental index of past Warrior Nation interviews, trying to think of a reassuring quote about how the heroes deal with this lifestyle. But they’re all so media-trained, all they ever say is boring stuff about honor and duty, so I come up short.
“I don’t know,” I say, feeling completely unhelpful.
“It all happened so fast. One minute I was eating a grilled cheese, and then boom! Danger. I’m pulling on my suit, not knowing where I’m going or what’s gonna happen when I get there. And then when I saw you tied to the chair…” She looks at me, eyes shining. “I went numb. Couldn’t move, couldn’t fight—all I could think was Claire could die. And it would be all my fault.”
My heart squeezes as fat tears roll down her cheeks, shoulders shaking with guilt. “But I’m fine,” I say. “Because of you, I’m safe. You are the one who rescued me. You did what you were supposed to do.” She keeps shaking her head, mouth frozen in a frown, unwilling to accept my words. “Did you know…I added you to my grail diary?”
Sunshine peeks through the clouds. “You did?”
“Yup, you have your own page and everything.”
She sniffles, wiping her nose on her sleeve. “I’m in that big dorky book of yours?”
I smile, nodding.
“But why?”
I hold back a laugh. “Because you’re a hero, Joy!”
She almost flinches when I say “hero,” pressing a palm into her cheek. “I have no idea what I’m doing. I keep telling myself, Suck it up, Joy. Stop being such a damn baby. You’ve been given this chance; people are counting on you. But who am I to be saving the world?! I’m just some girl who randomly discovered she has super strength, and now I’m standing next to these other three icons who are larger than life, part of this huge show, and…I’ll never measure up! I’ll never be able to do the things they do! But I can’t make it stop, not now. I…I’m trapped.”
I recognize this kind of rambling, this weight of the world coming out in verbal form. Because I do the same thing, getting