Her phone buzzed with an incoming text. She looked at the screen. Then the phone started ringing in her hand. Seeing no other way, she tapped the screen and accepted the call.
“Hi, Jack,” she said, hearing the shakiness of her own voice.
“What’s going on, Emma? It’s pretty obvious that you’re avoiding me. Why? What’d I do?”
“Jack…I…” She closed her eyes, holding back her tears. “I just realized that we were moving too fast. And I really don’t think it’s going to work between us.”
“Emma? Tell me the truth.”
“I am. You and I aren’t working out. Not for me.”
There was a long silence. So long that Emma almost wondered if he’d hung up.
“If you’re going to break up with me, open the door, look me in the eye, and tell me. That’s the least you can do for a friend.”
Emma turned and walked to the door. She paused behind it, steeling her emotions. When she opened it, Jack was standing on her porch. All she wanted to do was step into his arms and let him hold her. Instead, she reminded herself of how hard life had been for her father after her mother died. She reached for her mom’s bandana that she’d tied around her ponytail for the event. Where is it? Did it fall off?
“Emma?” Jack’s eyes were pools of sadness. “Is this because I told you I loved you earlier?” he asked. “Because if it is, I take it back, Emma. If that’s what I need to do to make you stay. I take it all back.” His jaw clenched. “I don’t love you.”
Emma felt her eyes sting against the tears she was holding back. “What?”
He shook his head and reached for her hand. “Whatever lie you need me to tell you, I will, because I don’t want you to say goodbye. You are the best thing in my life.”
Emma shook her head. “Jack…” She was done people pleasing, done pretending. Jack deserved to know why they couldn’t be together. “The truth is, when I had my appointment the other day, I took a test.”
“What kind of test?” he asked.
She noticed how his eyes widened and realized what kind of conclusion he might jump to. She wasn’t pregnant.
Emma blew out a breath. “I took a test to see if I carried the genetic mutation for breast cancer. It predicts my chances of getting sick like my mom and grandma.” She pulled her hand away. “I have the mutation.”
Jack stared at her. “Okay. So? Are you telling me you’re just going to resign yourself to the same fate they had?”
“No.” Emma folded her arms across her chest. “No. I’m going to fight, of course. I’m going to live.”
“Seems to me you’re going to hide. Breaking up with me is not living, Emma. Shutting yourself off from people just because of some crazy gene that may or may not even result in cancer is just…”
Emma lifted her chin. “Just what? Say it.”
“Well, it’s not something I would do,” he said. “Why would you do that to yourself? You’re healthy now.”
“Maybe, but if I’m going to get an illness, I want to know about it. I want to do everything I can to prevent it or catch it early. Maybe if my mom had gotten that chance, she would still be here.”
“Yeah, well if she was, she wouldn’t be turning her back on the people who love her. I remember your mom, Em. Friends and family were everything to her. Your mom was amazing. She wouldn’t deny those friends and family out of fear. She wasn’t a coward. She was strong.”
Emma’s mouth dropped open. “A coward? Is that what you think I’m being by breaking up with you?”
“No, I think you’re trying to play the hero by breaking up with me and telling yourself that you’re saving me by keeping me from this distant possibility that you’ll die someday. Guess what, Emma? We all die. Everyone.” His voice softened. “But not everyone loves.”
He reached for her hand again but she pulled it away. “I need some time alone. I’m overwhelmed right now, and you’re just making it worse.”
“Emma?” His voice softened.
She held up a hand. “I mean it, Jack. I want you to leave. Now.”
* * *
For the last hour, Jack had been driving around aimlessly with his thoughts. He slowed at his house but didn’t pull in. Amanda and Sam were in there, and he didn’t want to grace them with his bad mood. Heck, Amanda might change her mind