Therese impossible at times, I was the one who punched a hole in the wall. Our relationship was out of control. I had to leave it—I was the kerosene on the fire.”
“How did you two end up together, anyway?” she asked.
“I asked myself that often enough,” he said. “We met at a college fair, a large presentation to potential freshmen by area colleges. I was one of many people working the UC Berkeley booth. I was walking around the area, looking at the other presentations, and bumped into her. Your mother was a very attractive woman. She made me laugh… .”
“She could be so funny,” Nora remembered. “There were times, between her white-hot rages, we could laugh together. She was at times so destructive that it’s hard to remember some of her good traits. But how did you end up married?”
He sighed into the phone. “We married too quickly. We had several dates, talked about the fact that here we were, older at thirty-nine and forty-four, both had wanted to marry and have a family and yet had never come close. A few months later had us running off to the courthouse to get married so we could try to get a start on that family before it was too late. And then it was living together as husband and wife that allowed me to see there was a lot more to Therese than met the eye.”
“No kidding…”
“For a little while, I was on a cloud. I’m not an exciting guy, I know that—I’m a nerdy, quiet, boring history teacher. I’m excited by things very few other people care about. And then this pretty, funny, intelligent woman liked me. Liked me a lot. Wanted to be with me, have a family with me… It was such a powerful feeling. I couldn’t resist—I thought I’d finally found the life I’d been waiting for. She was pregnant immediately. And then I thought a lot of the high drama and tantrums had to do with that.”
“Nah,” Nora said. “Trust me—the temper came out of the blue. I never knew what a day would hold. We’d go for days, sometimes weeks, and everything would seem so normal. Maybe not a happy circus, but normal. And then there’d be some incident—fight with the neighbors, disagreement at work, an argument with a friend… Once a traffic ticket had her in a state for weeks! She ranted on the phone to anyone who would listen right up to her court appearance. She performed for a traffic judge who threatened to throw her in jail. I might never have known about that, but I was with her. It was regular. Frequent. I don’t know what made her so crazy.”
“There were also lies—things she said people did to her, that hadn’t been done. I’m sure she claimed that traffic cop abused her in some way,” Jed added.
“Um, yes,” Nora said. “She had an elaborate story. But there are cameras in the patrol cars. That got her in trouble…and produced a long running rage. If there was one thing Therese hated, it was being caught.”
“And there you have it,” Jed said. “After four years of trying to be the ballast in the drama of the day, I finally told her I couldn’t take the mood swings, the anger, the crazy-making. And it wasn’t always directed at me—but fifty percent of the time there was some enormous melodrama that I didn’t understand and couldn’t deal with. And I was the most convenient person she had to dump it on. I suggested we try a trial separation. I said I thought the pressure of working and parenting was wearing on her and I could take some of that stress off her hands. I wanted to take you. I might as well have launched a missile—she went into an immediate defensive posture. She saw a lawyer right away. We were instantly at war.” He took a breath. “You’d think after the number of years I spent studying historic battles, I’d know better than to draw first blood. I’m sorry, Nora. I’m the one at fault for all of it.”
“Well…apology accepted, but I know you were no more capable of making things different than I was. Life was sometimes so hard with her… .”
“I’m so sorry, Nora. I’d give anything if I could’ve been smarter. If I’d been a better father.”