The Summer of Sunshine and Margot - Susan Mallery Page 0,60

store up ahead and found a parking space in the back of the lot. Only then did she give in to the tears. She cried out her hurt and disappointment as she wondered what she’d done wrong and how she was ever supposed to be more than she was. She’d dressed conservatively, hadn’t teased or been sexual in her conversation. She’d thought he was a nice guy, but he wasn’t. Or maybe it was her. Maybe she should stop trying so hard to avoid the inevitable.

When she’d run out of tears, she drove home and made her way inside. Connor and Declan were watching a movie. She waved at them but kept on moving. She changed into leggings and a T-shirt, then curled up on the bed and wished she were anyone else but herself.

Chapter Thirteen

A couple of hours later, hunger drove Sunshine to the kitchen. There was leftover chicken and a bag of salad, along with some avocado and Mexican blend cheese. It only took a few minutes to make a salad. She’d just taken a seat at the kitchen island when Declan walked in.

“You okay?” he asked, shoving his hands into his jeans front pocket. “You seemed upset when you got home. Did something happen?”

She resisted the urge to push away her salad and start crying again. Declan certainly didn’t want that. Instead she smiled brightly.

“I’m great. How was your evening with Connor? Did he have fun with his friend?”

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” he told her. “But I am concerned.”

So much for distracting him, she thought with a sigh.

“Nothing happened,” she told him. “It was just a crummy date.”

He took the far seat at the island. “Want to talk about it?”

“No. Yes. Let me ask you a question.” She put down her fork. “Did you have sex with Iris on the first date?”

“What? No!” He cleared his throat. “No.”

“Did you ask her to? Did you expect it?”

“No. Is that what happened? He expected you to have sex with him?”

The tears threatened as she nodded. “I don’t get it. I thought he was a regular guy and I never thought regular guys expected sex after a drink.”

“Some might but most of us don’t. I’m sorry that happened.”

“Me, too.” She looked at him. “The thing is I was so careful with what I wore and what I said. I wasn’t flirty or anything. I just want to find someone who is as interested in the rest of me as my boobs and my ass.”

Declan waved toward her. “And that other part.”

He was such an unbelievable combination of embarrassed and earnest that she couldn’t help laughing.

“Is the word you’re looking for vagina?”

“We don’t actually think that term, but yes.”

“So it’s never—” she made air quotes “—‘Oh, wow, I want to put my penis in her vagina’?”

“No. It’s more basic than that. More visceral.” His humor faded. “I’m sorry the guy was a jerk. I’m sorry he disappointed you but that’s what jerks do. You’re going to meet someone normal and nice who sees you as a whole person.”

“I’m not sure those kind of guys exist.”

“We do.”

She wanted to believe him, but it was difficult. No, it was impossible. “I’m so tired of being a piece of ass. I have a personality. I’m good with kids and I kind of like the ant farm. That should matter. I’m not great at math, but it’s early yet and I could get better.”

“You have a lot to offer. You really do.”

There was something in his tone. “But?”

“But it can be difficult for some men to see past the obvious.”

“You think I should give Norris a second chance?”

“No. But I think you might have to give a guy you really like a second chance. In case he was just overwhelmed in the moment.”

She would give Declan a second chance, she thought wistfully. If they were dating, she would give him a lot of chances. Not that she would have to. She knew in her gut, and a whole lot of other places, he would never make her feel bad about herself. He wouldn’t ask her to have sex right away. He would wait until they knew each other and it became something they both wanted because...

“I want to fall in love,” she whispered, brushing away tears. “I want to be someone’s world and I want him to be mine. I want to take care of him and our kids and our pets. I want to have a