voice as Sam walks in, going straight to the fridge.
“Of course we have wine,” says Sam. “You think I’d last two weeks on holiday staying in a house with no wine? Sweetie, are you completely mad? Red or white?”
“Actually, I’m fine without,” she says, and I am glad that she is making the effort, although she does look longingly at the bottle of chardonnay that Sam immediately opens.
“It smells great,” she says, walking over to the stove, “and the house is adorable! I had no idea it was so cute inside.”
“It’s not,” says Sam. “It was completely ghastly. I had to redecorate the entire thing.”
“It’s true,” I say. “He has single-handedly revived the economy of the island by purchasing every accessory that’s for sale within a five-mile radius. Come through to the sun porch. Let’s take our drinks out there.”
I had imagined chemistry. I had clearly imagined chemistry. Julia is lovely, as warm and personable as she always was, and I relax and remember how much I always liked her, how good it feels to have a family, to have a sister who is so very like me. I feel a wave of gratitude that Jason suggested this, that even if we don’t stay in touch in any meaningful way, the bad blood that I was so certain must have existed has definitely gone.
I would never have imagined Ellie and me hugging, but it happened. I could never have predicted the outcome of this trip, how wonderful it feels to have been forgiven, to have the weight of guilt and shame that has sat on my shoulders all these years now removed.
This is what they mean by making amends, I think. I apologized, and now I am letting go. And it seems, without any guidance at all, Julia had long ago reached a place where she was willing to do the same. She is a wonderful girl, I think to myself. And I am lucky to have her in my life.
“… which was just like our dad,” I tune in to hear her say. “He wasn’t exactly known for his sense of responsibility.”
Our dad. She didn’t say “my dad.” She acknowledged that we are related, and it is this seemingly tiny thing that warms my heart more than anything else this evening.
“I barely knew him,” I say. “Although we stayed in touch. He always struck me as a very loving father.”
“When he wasn’t drunk, he was the best. Actually, even when he was, he was always fun.”
“I was so jealous of everything you had here,” I say. “I shouldn’t tell you that, but it’s true.”
“Are you kidding?” Her mouth falls open. “I was so jealous of you! This incredibly sophisticated woman shows up who has this crazy exciting life in London, of all places! You were a journalist! You interviewed celebrities and went to parties and had such a huge life! You were going on vacations all over Europe. The only place I had ever been was Cape Cod, and Boston. And I only went to Boston to get my boobs reduced. Sorry.” She shoots Jason and Sam an apologetic look. “We all had giant boobs back in the day. I have no idea why, but that was how we used to get in everywhere when we were underage.”
“Did the boob reduction stop you getting in?” Sam is loving the direction of this conversation.
“I didn’t have them done until I was twenty-one, so it didn’t matter. But I had basically never been out of Massachusetts. You were the most exciting and glamorous person I had ever seen, and you were my sister! I was so jealous, I could hardly stand it.”
“Wow.” I am speechless.
“Wow,” echoes Sam. “Put like that, it does seem Cat’s life is rather exciting.”
“I was this island girl. I still am. I hadn’t been anywhere, done anything. The most exciting thing I’d probably ever done was steal mopeds on Easy Street and take them to Thirty Acres, where we’d get wasted and go skinny-dipping. Excitement was baking up a batch of pot brownies, and stealing clothes from the store my friends’ parents owned, and waiting until the guy on the door at the bar was drinking so we could sneak in, one at a time. That was my life, and I never knew that there was anything different until I met you, and I wanted everything that you had. I took off because I met you. Not because of what happened, but because it opened my eyes