Julia, why she would go to the trouble of lying for my daughter.
“Why did you do it?” I ask. “Why risk it?”
“I did it for Trudy. I know how much she has always wanted a big family, and I didn’t think it was right to keep them apart, so I took matters into my own hands. I know I was wrong. I feel horrible about it now.”
To give her credit, she does look mortified, but I feel extremely unsettled. Honesty has become such a huge part of my life; if I had known she had lied, I would never have encouraged the girls to get together.
And yet, I stop myself, I did know. On some level, I knew.
But if Julia could lie so easily about that, what else might she lie about? Would she lie that she has forgiven me? Would she be that callous? Does she, in fact, feel the same as Ellie?
“I know what you’re thinking,” Julia says, standing in front of me now, grabbing my arms. “I hated lying. I’m not a liar, I did this for the girls. For you. I know I made a terrible mistake but this isn’t who I am, and I am going to make it up to you. If nothing else, Ellie is pretty disgusted with me right now, but much more inclined to have a relationship with you. She has forgiven you. This isn’t all bad, Cat.”
I look in her eyes, and I realize she is right. People make mistakes. We fuck up, and what kind of person would I be if I was unable to forgive her?
I close my eyes for a few seconds and nod my head. “Okay,” I say. “Okay, I understand. We need to move on from this.”
Julia envelops me in a hug. “Thank you. You will never know how relieved I am. And Ellie too, so relieved and appreciative. She said she had no idea what would have happened if you hadn’t been there.”
How could she not believe it? I think, staring at her. Isn’t Julia filled with stories of doing exactly the same thing when she was a teenager? Didn’t she regularly steal Jeeps parked by the harbor and drive them to parties all over the island? Didn’t she sneak into all the bars underage, chatting up the doormen and sticking her boobs out to get in? How on earth could she possibly think Trudy isn’t going to do, if not the same exact thing, then something similar?
How did I not realize? I think. Because I still think of Annie as a little girl. I hadn’t realized, until last night, just how much she has grown up.
“I am so sorry, Cat.” Julia is standing in front of me now, and she grabs my arms. “I don’t know how I’m going to make it up to you. Ellie is furious with me. She may never talk to me again. But she’s feeling a bit warmer toward you, although disgusted with me that I went out to an event and wasn’t contactable, and you were the one who showed up.”
“I imagine it’s the last thing she would have wanted.”
“I imagine that’s true, although she is relieved and appreciative you were there. Really appreciative. She said she had no idea what would have happened if you hadn’t been there.”
A glow of warmth spreads inside me, and I realize how much it has bothered me, all these years, being hated by someone for no reason at all. I am a people-pleaser; I need to be liked, and I can’t help but feel gratified that Ellie may be changing her mind, even though it took a web of lies to get her there.
“The nurses at the hospital told me you were back and forth between the two rooms all night. I feel awful I wasn’t there when it happened. I’m so sorry, Cat. I really don’t know how to thank you.”
“You don’t have to thank me. It’s the least I could do, the least anyone would have done. I just wish I had known you weren’t going to be around last night. The girls could have come here.”
“Ellie would never have allowed it. I was just trying to do the right thing without having the girls feel like they had to lie. I’m sorry.”
“Okay. It’s … fine. I’m just relieved I was able to be there. How is Trudy doing?”
“She’s okay. They took off the bandages to examine the eye, and they think it’s going to be fine. Ellie’s