Summer Breeze Kisses - Addison Moore Page 0,406

twenty-four seven and didn’t give a flying rip who tuned in or tuned out. I had finally done the impossible. I relinquished—gave my heart away, lost control. Two things I vowed I would never do again after my mother took off in that rumbling station wagon that roared up to our driveway. My mother, the flake, took off with some high school sweetheart so the two of them could shoot up coke for the rest of their days. She chose a mountain of white powder and cheap motel sex over my siblings and me. If she wasn’t going to step up and be the woman God intended her to be, I sure as heck was. In fact, I was fast becoming an expert. I took Aunt Priscilla’s younger two under my wing after she died in that horrible car wreck. Rush and Sunday need me. Nolan is grown, but he needs a mother figure to act as the familial glue even if he’s too stubborn to admit it. This is precisely why falling in love with Axel Collins or anyone else was a risk I never should have taken. Someone needs to have their head about them. And for God’s sake, nobody is ever allowed to run out on me again.

“New York?” I can barely get the words out of my throat.

Here we are, in the middle of Founder’s Square where we shared our first kiss all those dizzying months ago. Only now the night is replaced with the cold harsh glare of a winter sun, snow reflecting its rays mercilessly.

“Yes, it’s for a spring admit.” He swallows hard as he wraps his arms around me just a little bit tighter. He can feel the urge to bolt building in me, I can tell. “NYU has a great law school. It was my first choice. Don’t worry about it. It’s just a silly admissions letter. I should never have brought it up. I’m happy at Whitney Briggs. I’m happy with you.” He presses a kiss over my lips that quickly grows cold in the frigid air.

My body solidifies. I can’t breathe. I can’t push the words that are dying to stream from me past that Manhattan-sized lump in my throat.

“You should go.” I shrug, trying not to acknowledge the pain those words caused as they shred their way past my vocal cords. “It’s not every day your number one pick invites you to participate as a spring admit. Finals are over. I’ll help you pack.” I bite the air with my words. That furious venom that lives inside me percolates to the surface—a parting gift from my mother.

“Hey”—fear takes over his features, and I hate that I’ve done this to him—“I’m not going anywhere. I’ve already got my classes set for spring right here. I get it. A long distance relationship would suck. And the only thing I need to suck is you.” He offers up that sheepish grin that has the power to charm me, and I almost want to laugh at what a fool I’ve been. Who the heck did I think I was diluting myself into thinking that this person, this entity that lives outside of my airspace could be controlled and kept under the lid of my universe? People leave—mothers, fathers, boyfriends, and it was all too painful to deal with. No way in hell am I ever falling on a sword for an outsider ever again. Serena, Marlin—they’re not only blood, they’re my charges. I don’t care how much older Marlin is. He’s mine.

I glare at Axel Collins, and those eyes I’ve let him hypnotize me with because I can never safely say the same about him.

“Go to New York or I will never speak to you again.” I don’t dare tell him that it will be the same case if he stays. “In no way do I want to be that person who you will point an accusing finger at for the rest of your miserable life because I made you stay,” I spit the words out like venom.

The entire purpose of this conversation and any other interaction we might have from this moment on will be just that—an effort to make him loathe me. It will be easier that way for both him and me. Leaving someone you love is hard on the heart and just as hard on the mind. People turn off their emotions real quick once they despise someone. I wish I could hate my mother. I’ve nurtured that love