But more than that, I wanted to pretend for a few hours—see how the other half lived.
As I slipped on my coat, he helped me with the buttons again, this time holding my stare. Our breathing seemed suspended, as if holding onto an unspoken promise about to be released.
He held my hand as we walked to the car and opened my door, making sure I had plenty of opportunities to notice his manners. As we drove, the streets were uncongested, and the night was clear.
“Do you live far?”
“Just another few miles up the road.”
Tension twisted with anticipation, forming a delicious potion in my belly. It was enough to keep me on the verge of punch drunk, yet sober enough to maintain my wits. I wanted to tip over to the drunk side and let go, but that wasn’t my nature.
His house was enormous, the sort of home featured in magazines with Martha Stewart baking muffins in the kitchen and Pottery Barn furniture in every room.
“I’ll hang up your coat.”
He left me standing in a gaping foyer feeling well outside of my comfort zone.
“Want a tour?”
“Sure.” The contrast in our backgrounds had never been as evident as they were the moment he flipped on the lights.
The kitchen was incredible. He took my hand and escorted me into what could only be the living room. It was twice the size of my mom’s trailer. There was an entire game room in the basement, furnished with cinema chairs, a big screen television, and numerous arcade games.
“I can’t believe you grew up here. It’s a suburban palace.” And completely intimidating.
“Wanna see upstairs?”
I hesitated, knowing full well what upstairs would lead to and unsure why I was still fighting what now seemed an inevitable outcome. I was in a losing battle, and it wasn’t like me to surrender without a fight.
There were consequences. I knew my answer would come at a price, but standing here in his beautiful—normal—childhood home made me want to pretend I belonged, pretend I was worthy.
Tomorrow we would be back home, and I’d be a sugar baby, and he’d be the out of my league man I fucked. He had to realize the consequences wouldn’t change.
Was it just about tonight for him? Was that how he could overlook all the ways we were unsuited? Was this about sharing his background or fucking me on a neutral playing field?
“Why did you bring me here, Noah?”
He cocked his head. “I wanted to show you who I was.”
And he had. He wasn’t playing the douche bag, nor was he trying to impress me with over the top treatment. He was just being himself, and it wasn’t fair that the real him was more irresistible than the handsome stranger who lived across the hall.
Everything was normal here. My phone hadn’t rung. The costumes I wore in the city were out of sight and out of mind. I didn’t know who I was when I stood in his home, so many miles from my own. I didn’t know how to act or be with him.
But I wanted him, and I didn’t want to think about the consequences for once in my life. I wanted to live in the now and experience the fantasy because he made the possibility of normal seem so tangible I could reach out and grab it. I just had to find the balls to give in.
I glanced around the empty house. “No one’s coming here?”
“They’re all in Florida. We have the house to ourselves.”
“You want to stay here tonight?” I inwardly winced, not used to asking. I kept waiting for my assertive self to take the lead, but for some reason, it wanted Noah to call the shots. Maybe that way I could blame him in the morning.
“Only if you want to stay.”
I shrugged—more shy bullshit I wasn’t used to—my fingers tracing over the polished banister that led to the second floor.
“I’m not sure what I want. You confuse me.” The honest vulnerability kept leaking out. Damn it, Avery. Where are you?
“Maybe that’s not a bad thing.”
“Maybe it is.” It definitely wasn’t good.
“Care to find out?”
My gaze lifted to his and a shiver shot through my system. This was so different from everything I thought I wanted, everything I knew I needed. Despite my wishy-washy words, I had to be clear on the outcome.
“What happens tomorrow?”
“We go home and see how things play out.”
So this could still be just one night. I could live with one night. It was the thought of