but you made me eat that second piece of pizza, and there’s no way I’m missing my workout.”
His eyes rolled dramatically. “I can’t talk to you for the next three minutes. Come on. Let’s pick out a movie.”
I followed him into the den. “Why can’t you talk to me?”
“Because you won’t like what I say. Thriller or action?”
“Neither. Romantic comedy or drama. What were you going to say?”
He tossed some pillows around and searched for the remote. “I’m not watching a drama. I’ll do a comedy, but not a romantic one. And I can’t say it, because your whole gym comment proved you have screwed up girl thinking and that means I might upset you and you might start to do other girly things like cry or get all bitchy again.”
I grabbed the remote off the cushion as he lifted another pillow. “I won’t cry. Say it.”
“No.” He snatched the remote.
I scoffed. “Pussy.”
His head whipped around and he smiled. “Did you just call me a pussy?”
“Yeah. I don’t use girly terms like—” Finger quotes. “chicken.”
“Oh, you are a bitch. Fine. I was going to say how stupid it is that girls can’t eat two slices of pizza without developing some big guilt complex. Like that’s going to make you fat. You’re a twig. I hate that shit and most guys feel the same way. Just eat and shut up about it.”
I had plenty to say, but my lips wouldn’t move.
“Ah, fuck. Are you going to cry?”
“No.” But I did want to punch him in the dick.
“Don’t get all sensitive. I prefer you bitchy.”
Oh, I could be a bitch. If he only knew how much…
“First of all, I’m not going to cry. I just needed a second to process everything you said. Second, I don’t work out for anyone but myself. It’s a great stress reliever, and I use it as an outlet when I’m tense. And third, I ate the second piece, so shut the fuck up about my eating habits.”
“You know, there are other outlets for stress relief—”
“Oh, my God! Do you ever think of anything but sex?”
“I’m just saying, my door’s closer than the gym.”
“If you’re such a sex god, why don’t I ever see any women at your place?”
“Maybe I take my business elsewhere.”
I snatched the remote back and plopped on the couch. “I’m sure you do.”
He sat beside me and stole the remote again. “I have plenty of sex. Way more than you.”
“Well, I don’t doubt that.”
He turned and gave me a questioning glance. “When’s the last time someone gave you something worth thinking about?”
“I got flowers yester—”
“No, I mean something that made you scream in a good way.”
The last time I ordered someone to make me scream. “It’s been a while.”
“Why, though? You’re beautiful, sort of fun. Are you going through some kind of celibacy thing on purpose?”
“Maybe I’m trying to graduate from ‘sort of fun’ to something that’s actually flattering. Let’s just say I’m picky and it’s not worth my time if it’s not done my way.”
“So you haven’t had good sex.”
I twisted to face him. “I’ve had incredible sex, but if everyone did it that good, it wouldn’t be incredible. Trust me, I’ve had good sex.”
“How good?”
“Great.”
His eyes narrowed. “Meh, I don’t believe you.”
I scoffed, and folded my arms, then scoffed again. “Well, lucky for you, I don’t give a dirty fuck if you believe me or not.”
“You sure about that?”
“Put on a damn movie.”
He chuckled. “One day you’ll give a dirty fuck. And I’ll give it right back.” He shut off the lamp and hit play.
“What the hell is this?”
“Shh… You don’t want to miss the backstory, that’s what makes it hot.”
“Oh. My. God. I’m not watching porn with you!”
“Just a few minutes.”
I reached for the remote, and he jerked his hand out of reach.
“Give it.”
“Five minutes, then we can watch whatever you want.”
“Noah!” I stretched over him, but his damn long arms were like telephone poles. “Change it!”
“It’s a good one. Chicks like the ones with a plot.”
That was it. I locked in on his nipple with my thumb and knuckle and pinched hard. “Shut it off!”
“Ow! Fuck! Okay! Okay!”
The remote fell to the floor, and I let go. Bad acting and crappy lines played on the surround system as I tried to change the movie. “How the hell do you work this thing?”
“I think you dislocated my areola.”
“You’ll live.” I finally found the source button, and the screen switched to something appropriate.