your side of the hall until I move out. Lucky for you that won’t be that long from now.”
A tear tripped past her lashes, and she either didn’t realize she was crying or refused to acknowledge her tears.
“Goodnight. I have to go.”
She pushed the door shut, and the soft click seemed to send a fissure carving into my heart. I stared at the door, unsure what to make of everything she just said. She was crying. Women like Avery weren’t supposed to cry. She was strong. Tough.
So why did she look so broken? Staring down at the knob, I reached forward and turned, my eyes shutting in relief when the door opened.
38
Avery
Hand on my quaking chest, I staggered into the living room and gasped for breath. I’d told Micah I’d stay, but after seeing Noah wearing a smudge of some other woman’s red lipstick on his lips, I knew I couldn’t stay here.
“Oh, God.” I gripped the arm of the couch, letting my tears fall. I couldn’t bear the pain escaping me in horrific sobs.
I gasped as strong arms closed around me. Noah.
“Shh. Don’t cry.” He twisted me away from the sofa and pulled me into his arms.
“How did you get in here?”
“You forgot to lock the door.”
“Get out.” I didn’t want him to see me like this. “You’re breaking and entering again.”
“I’ll let you use my phone to call the cops.” He brushed the hair away from my face and pressed his lips to my temple. “Try to breathe, Avery. You’re going to hyperventilate if you don’t calm down.”
I sucked in a jagged breath. Defeated, I let him hold me. “I can’t fight anymore, Noah. You win.”
“I didn’t win.” He lowered to the couch, pulling me onto his lap. “We both lost.”
The agony I’d kept bottled up for the past few weeks erupted out of me like boiling lava. “I wish I could be normal for you.”
“You are normal. You just have a terrible job.”
“My job pays for college.”
“I know, but what does it cost you in the end? I’m falling in love with you, Avery. Hell, I think I fell in love with you the first time I saw you get on that elevator. I want to be with you, and I don’t want to share. If you’d just open up to me a little, I could help you.”
My face pressed to his shoulder, his familiar scent seeping into my lungs and calming me. “I don’t want you to know any of that.”
“Any of what?”
“Anything about the girl I used to be. I just want you to see the good stuff.”
“Why can’t I see both? I’m not an asshole, Avery. But you make this part of you a deception. You hide it until your secrecy is all I can see. If you just were upfront with me about the bad stuff, it wouldn’t matter so much. And I’d never lose sight of all the good.”
Fear twisted in my chest, wringing a sharp whimper from my throat. “My real name’s Avery Dean Mudd. I grew up in a dirt poor trailer park with an abusive, alcoholic mother, and I don’t know who my father is.”
His hand brushed over my hair, holding me close. “None of that’s your fault, and I’d never judge you for where you came from.”
“But you don’t understand what it was like. You came from this picture perfect home with a mom and a dad. Your family had money, and you’ve grown up with so many opportunities.”
“I can’t help that. I’m sorry it wasn’t as easy for you.”
My words tangled in my throat. “Everything I am is fake. And when I let my guard down and show people the real me, they see nothing but problems.”
“No, sweetie. You’re wrong.”
“I tried to let you in, and you called me a scorpion.”
“I was angry. I saw another man kissing you, and I lost it. I wanted to hurt you.”
“You succeeded.”
He pulled me so I straddled him and cupped my cheeks so I’d look him in the eyes. “You are not a scorpion. It was an asshole thing to say, and I didn’t mean it.”
Leaning forward, he tried to kiss me, and I turned away, my face scrunching tight. “You have someone else’s lipstick on your lips.”
He hissed out a curse. “That was a mistake.”
“Did she like her flower?” Maybe if I made light of him dating other women, it wouldn’t feel like a dull, rusty blade was gutting me.