Mostly. I could walk if Alex would stop complaining about how slow I am.”
“Ha ha.” He pushed the chair through the doors and into the main lobby. A few patients seemed surprised to see us, but no one gave us a hard time. The doctor in charge of the cancer ward acted like an ambassador, leading us to Dad and asking if we needed anything.
“How’s Dad?” I looked at Jess.
“He was awake when we came down.” She sighed. “Sam, he doesn’t look good. I just want you to be ready.”
I nodded my head but didn’t say anything. Part of me was terrified of what I’d see and the other part of me wanted to get it out of the way. Some of the staff watched us as we walked by, but it didn’t bother me. They weren’t going out of their way or trying to take pictures. It was more that we were interrupting their routines. It made me feel like a normal person. Who would have thought a bunch of busy, annoyed nurses would make me feel better?
When we got to the door, I made Jess stop. “I don’t want to go in there in a wheelchair.”
“I’ll help you.” Alex slid an arm around my shoulders to help me stand.
“We haven’t told him much. You guys have been all over the news, but I knew you wouldn’t want him to see that,” Jess explained.
“Thank you.”
“We’ll wait out here.”
Alex opened the door so I could hobble in first. He moved beside me to help support my weight on the bad ankle and we crossed the room to the hospital bed. Patricia was sitting in a chair, knitting. Her face was pale and her eyes red. I would hug her after I saw my dad. He had to come first.
“Dad?” I touched his hand, careful to not move any of the tubes or cords. Jess had been right. He barely looked like my father any more.
He opened his eyes slowly and gave me a weak smile. “Hey, baby girl.”
Alex pulled a stool over for me so I could sit down and then moved back to give us space.
“How are you?” I wrapped his fingers around mine and fought the tears that were blinding me.
“Not too bad.” He squeezed my hand.
“Liar.” I sniffed.
“I’m sorry I’m leaving you.” His voice was so soft I had to lean forward to hear him.
“Then don’t.”
“I knew it was a lost cause. Can’t win this one.”
“Why didn’t you tell me? Why did you let me go when it was this bad?” I shook my head. “I would have been here for you.”
“No.” His voice rose. “You needed to live life. I wasn’t going to let you give up something so wonderful because of me.”
“I could have gone anytime.” I groaned in frustration. “You stubborn old man.”
“Sam, I didn’t want you to watch me die. Can you understand that? I wanted you to remember me—the real me. Not this leftover husk.”
“You’re still you.” Tears ran down my cheeks. “I could have played crossword puzzles with you and stolen the remote for the TV after you fell asleep.”
“Remember the good times, okay?” He reached up with his other hand. I leaned down so he could touch my cheek and tried not to sob. “You’ve lost so much in such a short time. You deserved to be part of something lasting.”
“Our family is lasting.” I leaned into his palm. His fingers were so cold it broke my heart. “I wish I had been here.”
“No. I loved hearing about your adventures and seeing your pictures.” His hand fell and he looked around the room. “Did Alex come with you?”
“I’m here, sir.” Alex moved to stand behind me.
“You take care of my Sam. She’s a feisty thing, but someone needs to love her in spite of it.” He squeezed my fingers and I rolled my eyes.
“I do and I will.” Alex dipped his head in a small bow. “You have my word.”
“Good.” Dad smiled at Alex. “Good.”
His fingers loosened on my hand and I panicked. “Dad?”
“Just tired.” He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. It rattled loudly and I bit my lip. “Love you.”
“Love you, too.”
I didn’t move from that stool until the monitors stopped beeping and the doctors made it official. I hadn’t cried so much in years. The last time was when my mother died in the car accident. When they wheeled him out of the room, Alex pulled me into his arms and rocked me against his