Sucker Punch (Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter #27) - Laurell K. Hamilton Page 0,150

officers at home when they met some of the women in my life. I’d had two of them tell me, “You dog.” I knew it was a compliment, just not one I’d ever thought I’d get.

“Well, now, can’t argue that, but that much eye candy is going to be damn distracting.” Leduc’s eyes narrowed to nicely skeptical cop eyes. “You going to be too distracted to do your job?”

“I deserve that, but I promise the public displays of affection are over until we get a break in the case.”

“You said the big guy was your mistake, so why kiss the others if you knew better?”

Then I lied, and I took a chance that a long-married man would understand something that you only learned if you dated women. “Some version of ‘if you loved me as much as you love him.’ Basically, those two kisses just kept me out of the doghouse with two women.”

My answer wasn’t strictly true. Angel wasn’t that serious about me or anyone. Pierette would never have pushed her advantage. She saw herself as serving her queen, me. She’d volunteered and pursued the relationship, but she still wouldn’t push that much. But I couldn’t explain all that to Leduc. I could explain trying to keep the women in your life happy.

“But you’re a woman, too, Blake.”

“Trust me, what sex I am doesn’t matter at all, only theirs.”

“So, what if they get their feelings hurt and need more romantic reassurance again? They’re going to distract you from the case.”

“I’m going to make it really clear that this is the one and only PDA for this trip, and if they can’t understand that, then I’ll be in the doghouse when we get home.”

“I can’t quite picture a woman being in the doghouse the same way that a man ends up there.”

“Trust me, Duke”—yes, I even stooped to using his nickname—“if you’re dating women and certain men, the doghouse doesn’t care if you’re male or female.”

He frowned at me. “Seems like women should be smart enough to stay out of trouble.”

I shook my head. “Maybe, but I’m not.”

He smiled. “I heard the rumors that you were sleeping around, but that’s not it. That’s casual, and casual doesn’t give people the power to make you do stupid shit like you just did.”

“Whatever I’m doing, it’s not casual.”

“Well, wouldn’t want to get a fellow officer in the doghouse with two women at once.”

“Thank you, Duke. I really appreciate that.”

He shook his head and actually patted my shoulder. “Being with one woman is hard enough, Blake. Good luck to you.”

“Thanks, and could I have a few minutes alone to explain the no more PDA for the rest of the trip?”

“How many of them are staying for the talk?”

I looked at them and realized that it was everyone but Milligan and Custer. “All of them, I guess, except for Otto Jeffries.”

He laughed. “Then I can give you privacy, Blake, but this is not the definition of being alone.”

“No arguments,” I said.

Leduc went inside, but Olaf didn’t want to go without us—okay, mostly me—so I told him a version of the same thing I’d told Leduc. “I need some privacy to talk to the women in my life, Otto. We need to make it clear that this is the last PDA while I’m working. I smoothed it over with Leduc once, but I can’t do it twice.”

“You have explained it to them,” he said.

I shook my head. “One of the hard things about dating women is that it takes more explaining to explain things, especially emotional ones.”

He stared at me, frowning, thinking hard. “You are admitting that women are not logical?”

“No, but they are more complicated than men when it comes to dating and romance.”

He seemed to think about that and then finally shook his head. “I will agree, and I will leave you to speak to the . . . women in your life.”

Olaf started walking toward the offices. When he walked through the door, Edward tipped his hat to me from the little porch and followed inside.

Once they were inside and the rest of us were as alone as we were going to get, I turned on them and said, “You have minutes to tell me why the fuck Pierette is here. Isn’t it enough that I fit his victim profile? Did you have to endanger someone else?”

“I am your bodyguard. It is my duty to put myself between you and danger,” Pierette said, and she didn’t sound the least bit frightened now.