Suck My Life (Sucking Dead #1) - Andie M. Long Page 0,23

t-shirt in the mirror that said ‘Shopping is my cardio’ in gold lettering.

I didn’t feel I could have all these things sent to Wayward Souls without adding a couple of things for Death. But as I browsed through the racks, I realised I didn’t know his clothes size.

“Huh, what size would Death be in clothing?” I said aloud.

“We know.”

I startled as the duet called out from behind me. If I hadn’t already been dead, this would have killed me.

I turned to face them.

“We source his clothing. We have to order them and have them sent here.”

“Yeah, I’m wanting to get him a thank you gift, something he can relax in, in an evening.”

“We have just the thing.” They walked over to the rack and Tilly brought out a crimson velvet smoking jacket while Milly pulled out matching bottoms. “These are in his size.”

I was starting to get used to them talking as one. “That’s perfect, thank you. Now I want to get him a couple of pairs of trousers, one navy and one cream; two white shirts; a pale-blue shirt; two white t-shirts; and two sweaters, again a navy one and a grey one.”

They stared at each other and then looked back at me. “But that’s not what he wears. We should ask him, because the customer is always right.”

“And I’m the customer. I’m paying for them with the card in my purse,” I informed them. “If he doesn’t like them, I can always bring them back.”

They shook their head. “We hate that, because we’re seconds the best, not thirds.”

“He’ll like them anyway, so it’s not an issue.” I tried to keep myself calm.

“We will get what you asked and take everything to the till.”

“Thank you. I’ll go downstairs now and look around at furniture.” I decided to leave shoes for another day.

“Wayward Souls already has furniture.”

“It does and some of it is lovely,” I lied, having not looked at it closely enough. “But some of it needs replacing or revamping.”

“Revamping is good.”

“Actually, I’ll call back tomorrow for furniture. If you could just take care of the clothing items for today.”

“As you wish.”

I needed out of here. One person’s judgement would be annoying enough but here it came in stereo.

Though I could have carried my purchases with my strength and whizzed it back to Wayward, I didn’t know if I’d accidentally drop it during my travels or puke all over it when I landed, so I arranged for it to be delivered and I headed on down to the hardware store after asking the twins where it was.

It was just around the corner from the main streets. The sign outside said simply ‘Stan A’s’ with a picture of a hammer and nails.

Another jingle greeted me as I walked inside.

“Hey there. I’m Stan. Stan Anderson,” a white-haired middle-aged man greeted me. His cheeks were ruddy as if he spent a lot of time outdoors. He was dressed in a red and white tracksuit and did indeed look fit as a fiddle.

“Hi. I’m Mya… Malone.” I explained about how I was new to the neighbourhood and was looking for things to help with the house.

“That heap of crap,” he said when I mentioned cleaning my furnishings. “Need a good bonfire up there. Invited me for a scotch once did Death. I never went again, that dust is no good for my allergies. No point in keeping my lungs healthy to inhale all that, so let’s get you all set up so you can blast through it. Then maybe I can come enjoy a scotch again.”

I hoped he meant with Death and he wasn’t propositioning me.

“I got the impression from the twins in the second-hand store that I should keep the furniture I have,” I told him, moving my lips in a ‘but I don’t wanna’ pout.

“They just don’t want to move furniture. It means they have to replace it and they don’t like dealing with anyone outside Gnarly.”

“It weirded me out, how they talk at the same time.”

“The residents of Gnarly are cursed, Mya. Did you not know?”

My mouth dropped open.

“I’ll take that as a no,” Stan replied.

“What do you mean cursed?” I asked.

“Exactly what I said. A long time ago the residents of Gnarly were visited by a witch and they weren’t welcoming towards her. They’d lived here so long, they’d become all uppity and wanted to keep the fell to themselves, not let outsiders in. So she cursed them all. Told them they and their descendants would be stuck in