Suck My Life (Sucking Dead #1) - Andie M. Long Page 0,21

under the Gnarly sign and I noted the cupcake sign flapping in the breeze outside the shop. Callie’s Cupcakes.

We wandered towards it. The doorbell tinkled as I pushed through and found… pink, pink, and more pink.

Pink tables, pink chairs, pink plates—everything was varying shades of pink. And though I loved the colour, it just hit you with the same effect as when you saw a nudist. You didn’t know where to look. I decided to plump for the counter where there was a selection of mainly pink, but also, thank goodness, other variations of cupcakes.

The woman who stood behind the counter was pale-skinned, pink-haired, and dressed in a frilly pink two-piece suit with a white apron over the top. She smiled, “How can I help you?” I noticed that smile did not meet her eyes.

Lawrie sauntered up to the counter so smoothly it was almost a glide. He was also a lover of black clothes and looked like a shadow puppet in the pastel bakery.

“Well, I have brought Miss Malone here to sample your… cake,” he grinned, his fangs out.

The woman’s eyes narrowed.

“Lawrie, what sort of arsehole introduction was that?” I pushed him out of the way. “Hi, I’m Mya. I’m new to the area and I’ve come to look around and introduce myself to Gnarly Fell. Well, to some of you. I won’t get around everyone. Especially if my dad keeps making me stop for food I don’t actually need to eat.”

“Your dad?” The woman repeated, but Lawrie talked over the top of her.

“But they taste so good, Mya. These cupcakes are almost worth coming to the dreary fell. I’ll take two boxes to go,” he directed the woman.

The woman took a huge breath and held out a hand to me. “Hello, Mya. I’m Callie and I own this cupcake cafe. I take it you’re the new Queen of the Wayward?”

“Wayward, Damned, Undecided. I’ll go with any of those. Anyway, this idiot here is Lawrie who sired me. I had a lame dad when I was alive and undeath hasn’t proved any better. Maybe a cupcake will cheer me up.”

“Take a seat. I have just the thing for you, and for you,” she pointed to Lawrie.

I took a seat at one of the circular, plastic, pink tables. “She has cupcakes for me and a stake for you, I reckon.”

“Cupcakes for you and a running wet pussy for me, I’ll bet.”

“I’ve lost my appetite.”

Lawrie smirked and licked his tongue around his fangs. “Women dig it when I bite them right on their—Oomph.”

Callie had thrust the top of a cupcake right into his mouth.

I chortled with laughter.

“Not looking so delectable now,” I told him.

“Yeah, any women hankering after you now, will just be interested in the vanilla frosting you’re wearing,” she told him.

She placed a cupcake on the table for me. “It’s my special red velvet. Take a bite and let me know what you think. It’s new. I heard about your arrival. I was going to deliver it, but you’ve saved me the job.”

Lawrie’s nose twitched, “Curious,” he said.

I lifted the cupcake closer to me. My vampire superior smell was kicking in and I could detect strawberries, vanilla, sugar, butter, eggs, and… blood? I licked the frosting and sure enough I could taste the O-neg, sweetened by the icing sugar. I could have orgasmed on the spot. Food and sustenance in one go. Okay, not total sustenance. I doubted there was that much blood in it, but this woman had made an effort for me and I loved that. “Mmmmmm.” I basically kept on stuffing my face with it until it was gone.

“And a pink lemonade,” Callie said as I realised she was still standing there, staring at me with a bemused look on her face.

Picking up the drink, once more I realised that this homemade lemonade was also laced with O-negative.

“How did you know I was here? I only arrived last night.”

“Death sent out an email to all residents this morning. We keep each other informed of changes here. It helps the place run without problems. He didn’t however warn us that you’d be coming to visit with your vampire sire.”

“You know you want to call me Daddy,” Lawrie winked at her.

“I’m going to bring out two-dozen special red velvet cupcakes, and for them to remain in the box you are going to have to shut your filthy mouth. And you owe me ninety-six pounds.” She turned to me, “Queen Mya, your lemonade and cake are on the house.